Bruised But Not Broken
by snapple79
Summary: Emaciated, fragile and full of fear was how Sam found Andy months after she went missing. How do they move on now that she's home? This is a future fic, probably considered AU since it'll never happen on the show. Rated M for sensitive topics explored.
1. Chapter 1

**Bruised But Not Broken**

This fic comes with a serious** warning **that it deals with some sensitive topics. I don't want to give anything away, but if you want to know more before reading, send me a message. I don't get too detailed with anything, but still feel the warning is necessary. This multi-chapter fic is different than my usual stuff, and it's a little tough at times, but still always 100% McSwarek. I'd love to hear what people think, so please leave a review. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.

* * *

**Chapter 1 **

Under the darkness of night, Sam followed SWAT into an old farmhouse that had seen better days. Oliver threatened to keep him at the station - handcuffed to a cell, if need be - but Sam had pleaded to go, insisted he wouldn't take part in the arrests. He just wanted to be there when they found her. It had been three long months and he didn't want to have to wait an extra minute to see her. Oliver eventually relented, with conditions of course. Sam was only there for Andy; he left everything else up to the other officers.

So, he obeyed orders and was one of the last through the door. Two teams split off heading to the main level and second floor. The third team made its way down dark basement stairs and gut instincts had him following them. As he heard the cops on the upper floors shouting for people to surrender, he headed over to a padlocked metal door on the far end of the basement. Sam waited impatiently as the lock was cut and the door was pried open, all the while keeping one ear to his radio to hear if she'd been found elsewhere. When two SWAT guys took only a step inside the room before moving aside, he knew they'd found her.

He holstered his gun and ran in the room, almost losing his lunch at the condition she was in. Memories of his sister flooded his head, even though he knew this was much worse. He collapsed to his knees next to the rusty, rickety metal frame that was a sorry excuse for a bed. It was topped by a thin mattress he couldn't imagine provided much comfort from the metal bed springs. She was curled up in the fetal position and shivering, seeming to not even realize anyone had just barged through the door.

"McNally...Andy," he whispered.

"No, no, no, no," she mumbled when his hand touched her shoulder.

When his hands slid underneath her, Andy's eyes flew open and fear was quickly replaced by relief before tears rolled down her cheeks. "Sam."

"It's okay. I'm here. You're okay." He kept reassuring her as he picked her up, the short flimsy nightgown she wore nearly falling off her body. When he turned around, he was thankful someone was there with a blanket, which they draped over her.

He walked out of the farmhouse and felt all eyes on them. A quick glance to his left and he saw Oliver and all of Andy's friends looking at him with worried expressions. He gave them a short nod to indicate she was alive, but didn't have any more reassurance to offer, so he focused on getting her in the waiting ambulance.

He could tell she'd lost weight as he carried her out of the farmhouse, but seeing her lying on the gurney as the ambulance rushed them to the hospital, it was startling to see her nearly skin and bones.

He started to brush hair off her face, but pulled back when she flinched and he saw her body tense. He gently took her hand in his and watched her body relax. He knew the signs, had seen it before with Sarah. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

* * *

"_Sam, go, I'll be fine," Andy insisted as they stood in front of his truck outside the station._

"_I'd feel better if you took the truck tonight. I can get a ride home from someone," he said. His gut was telling him something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on what._

"_We're gonna be celebrating Chris cracking the big case today and I'm not going to be in any condition to drive," she told him. "Go to poker night and stop worrying. I'll text you when I get home later."_

_He shook off the bad feeling and leaned down to kiss her. "Be careful, okay?"_

"_I will. Now go have fun and win us lots of money," she told him._

_He forced a smile. "I always do."_

_He watched her jog over to her friends who were waiting for her, and as he drove off in his truck, the last thing he saw was Andy's beautiful smile. _

_It was hours later when Andy left The Penny. She had planned to get a cab, but the summer night was fresh and cool, and would help sober her up, so she decided to walk. It wasn't far to the townhouse she and Sam were living in now, and she'd done the walk many times before._

_She was about halfway home when her senses went on alert. She pulled her phone out of her pocket as she began to glance around, but it was too late. She was grabbed from behind, a sweaty hand covering her mouth, muffling any screams, and her arms were twisted behind her back. Her assailant didn't realize her phone fell into the nearby grass as she tried to fight him off. She managed to kick his leg, almost causing him to topple over, but he caught himself as a van screeched to a halt next to them._

"_She's a feisty one," said the man who held her._

"_This should calm her down," said another man who stepped out of the van. Her eyes went wide when she saw the needle he held, and despite her continued fight, she felt it plunge into her neck before darkness took over._

_Meanwhile, at Oliver's, Sam pulled out his phone, anxious to hear from Andy. "Come on, brother, she's having her own fun tonight. Relax," Oliver said, placing a fresh beer in front of his friend._

"_I'm just gonna give her a call," Sam said, ignoring his friend's comment. He stood up and, walking away from the table, dialed her number. When Andy's voicemail came up, he furrowed his brow. He tried again, thinking maybe she was drunk and hadn't been able to answer the call in time. Again, voicemail._

_His gut that had been working overtime earlier was in full swing again. Something wasn't right. He called Traci, but found she'd left the bar before Andy and didn't know if she was still there. His next call went to Dov, and Sam felt his heart tighten when he was told Andy left an hour ago. Her called her number again, just hoping she would pick up - that she'd been in the shower or sleeping, or anything that would prevent her from answering but mean she was safe. _

"_I gotta go," Sam said when he got her voicemail again._

_Oliver saw his friend's change in demeanor. "What's wrong?"_

"_Epstein said she left The Penny an hour ago, but she's not answering her phone. She was gonna text me when she got home, but I haven't heard from her," Sam explained, grabbing his keys and heading for the door._

"_Wait up, Sammy. I'm coming with you," Oliver said before glancing back at the rest of the guys._

_Steve nodded. "Go, go. I'll take care of everything here. Call me if you need help."_

_Sam pulled out of Oliver's driveway the instant his friend got in and shut the door. "Where are we headed first?" Oliver asked._

"_Our house. She's gotta be there, Ollie. I don't know - "_

"_Don't think that way, okay. She's McNally, her phone probably died, and she's gonna be home asleep waiting for you," Oliver said, trying to reassure him._

_They were at the townhouse in record time. Sam barely shut the engine off before he was bounding up their front stairs two at a time. He cursed his fumbling fingers when he dropped his keys._

_After finally getting the door open, Sam raced through their home, finding it dark and untouched, just like they left it that morning. As he came back down the stairs, Oliver didn't need to ask if she was here, the look on his friend's face told him everything._

"_Maybe she went back to The Penny, forgot something and headed back there. Hey, maybe that's where her phone is," Oliver suggested, trying to keep his friend's hopes up, even though it wasn't looking good._

_Half an hour later, they were walking out of The Penny without any more information on where Andy might be. Sam tossed his keys at Oliver. "I need to follow her steps," Sam said, leaving Oliver confused._

"_Get in the truck, Sammy," Oliver said. "Let's go to the station, see what we can find out from there. We can put a bolo out on her."_

"_You go," Sam replied and started walking to the street. _

"_What the hell are you doing?" Oliver called out after him._

"_I'm walking the route she takes home from here. She never waivers, especially late at night," Sam replied, not stopping._

"_How do you even know she walked?" Oliver asked._

_Sam slowed up and glanced back at his friend. He didn't know how he knew, but that same feeling in his gut that told him something was wrong, told him she had decided to walk instead of getting a ride. "I just do."_

_Oliver hopped in Sam's truck and decided to follow his friend._

_Every couple of minutes Sam would call Andy's phone, hoping to hear the familiar ring. And finally when he was about halfway home, he heard it. It was faint at first, but he knew he was headed in the right direction when it got louder. Oliver realized his friend was onto something, so he parked the truck and jumped out._

"_What did you find?" Oliver asked, as he watched his friend pick something out of the grass next to the sidewalk._

"_Her phone," he replied absently. Sam looked around, as if she'd be across the street, ready to give him some smartass remark. _

_As Sam began walking around, trying to find any clues to where the love of his life disappeared to, Oliver was dialing the station to get all hands on deck to find her._

* * *

It was a blur when the ambulance arrived at the hospital. Andy was whisked away from Sam, a sea of doctors and nurses surrounding her, while he filled out paperwork. By the time he was done and pacing the hall outside the room they had Andy in, Oliver had arrived.

"How is she Sam?" Oliver asked, jogging up to his friend.

"I don't know. They're in there," he said waving his hand toward her room. "Doing whatever they do. God, Oliver...in the ambulance, she looked…."

"She's a fighter Sam. And you were there for her. She knows she has a lot to fight for," Oliver said, patting his friend on the back.

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost her," Sam thought out loud. "If she were to…If she died, I feel like I'd die too." He looked over at his friend sadly.

"Today's not that day, brother," Oliver assured him. "You got her here and they're doing everything they can in there."

Sam and Oliver were sitting in chairs a few feet from Andy's room when a doctor finally came out an hour later with an update. "Mr. Swarek, Sergeant Shaw. I'm Dr. Connors," she said, shaking their hands as they stood up. "I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to update you, but as you must know, she's gone through a complicated trauma."

"What can you tell us, doc? How is she?" Sam asked, just wanting her to get to the point.

"Ms. McNally is severely malnourished and dehydrated. We're also trying to detox her from several drugs that are in her system," she told them. "We still have tests to run, but as you probably could tell, she has undergone prolonged physical abuse. She has no current broken bones, but there is evidence of multiple healed fractures. We're still trying to determine what may be old injuries versus her recent trauma. There is also evidence of repeated sexual abuse."

She paused respectfully as she watched her patient's boyfriend stumble backward before his friend provided support. "It's going to take time for her to recover from all her injuries, but she will heal. She needs sleep, but you can go in and see her now."

Sam didn't hesitate, walking right into Andy's room and to the side of her bed. Her eyes were closed, the dark circles under them a stark contrast to her pale skin. She was sporting a fresh bruise the size of a fist on her cheek, and he noticed a faded bruise the size of a hand on her neck. Her lips were dry and cracked, likely from lack of fluids. Most of her was hidden by blankets, but the bruising and needle marks on her arms were visible and made him wish he'd found her abductors himself and shot them dead.

She sensed he was there, but refused to open her eyes. She was afraid to face him, if she was being honest about it. She knew the doctor would have informed Sam about the extent of her injuries, but hearing about it and seeing it with his own eyes were two different things. She felt damaged, tainted, ashamed and beyond repair.

When she heard him pull up a chair, she realized he wasn't leaving, not that she wanted him too. He was all she'd dreamed of while she'd been locked up and she felt safe for the first time in months with him here. She opened her eyes and rolled her head to the side. "Hey."

He'd been staring at her hand, wanting to take it in his and hold it close, but not knowing if that would freak her out. When he heard her voice, his head popped up to meet her eyes. "Hey...How are you feeling?"

"It's good to see you," she said, avoiding the question.

"It's good to see you, too. I'm sorry it took so long," he said, leaning forward and placing his arm on the bed. "I didn't rest in trying to find you."

She shook her head, tears filling her eyes. It was the only thing that gave her hope in the days she'd been held captive. "I know. I know, Sam." She wiped away a tear that escaped. "I knew you would find me."

She could see the pain in his eyes as he blamed himself and that was the last thing she wanted. "It's not your fault. Sam, listen to me," she said, wanting him to look at her. "Do not blame yourself. Knowing you were out there was what kept me going. And you found me, Sam. I love you."

He wanted to wrap her up in his arms, hold her tight and protect her forever. The condition she was in - mentally more than physically - had him settling for giving her a smile. "I love you too, McNally. Don't know what I'd do without you in my life."

They sat in silence for several minutes and Sam thought about the last few months. He worked night and day trying to find any lead that would bring him to her. He went to CI's he hadn't talked to in years, begging for information. He worked normal shifts as little as possible, using most of his vacation time so he could come into the station on his own time to research even the smallest of leads. When it seemed convincing enough that a gang new to Toronto was responsible, Steve brought the case under Guns &amp; Gangs and gave Sam fairly free reign in the investigation.

About 2.5 months after Andy went missing, a truck with six young girls was stopped on its way into the city. Sam happened to be on shift and was the detective in charge of interrogating the drivers. It turned out they were part of a gang trying to make a name for itself in Toronto and while they played dumb and claimed not to know what the girls would be used for, it was clear it was part of a human trafficking operation.

Something one of the guys said also had Sam convinced they were tied to the people keeping Andy captive. Everyone thought he was grasping at straws, forcing a tie-in to Andy's disappearance where it didn't exist, but Sam pressed on. It took a several days for him to put all the pieces together, but once he did, Steve took over the investigation and obtained the warrants for a raid on the farmhouse.

He was mad at himself for not being able to find her sooner. He was supposed to protect her, but look at the torture she'd been put through. He knew Andy didn't blame him, but he blamed himself enough for the both of them.

"I'm glad we found you," he finally said, pulling himself from his own thoughts.

"How much...how much time has passed?" she asked. It had felt like a long time - several weeks for sure - but the days blurred together while she was in that basement and the drugs kept her out of it most of the time, so she couldn't be sure how much time had passed.

"Three months."

"Oh. Wow." She stared up at the ceiling. Three months of her life gone. Three months for the world to move on without her. Three months of her life she wanted to erase from her memory.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Sam asked. He couldn't help noticing how rigid her body went, and regretted his question.

"Um, maybe, uh, I'm really tired. Could we talk about it tomorrow?"

"Yeah, yeah. Can I get you anything? Do you need anything?" he asked.

"Go home, Sam."

"What? I'm not leaving you," he replied.

"I know you. You haven't slept well in three months. You probably haven't been eating well either. I'm gonna need you, so go home, sleep, take a shower. Please, for me," she said.

"McNally, a few restless nights doesn't even come close to what you went through. You sleep, I'll be here when you wake up," he told her.

As much as she loved Sam, she needed some time to herself. She had a hard time facing Sam feeling as dirty and damaged as she did. And she needed time to wrap her head around the fact that while all she wanted was to be in Sam's arms again, she had no idea why the thought of it made her shake in fear right now. She could feel herself starting to break down and didn't want his guilt to grow. "Look, I'm gonna need some clothes because this hospital gown has to go," she said, trying to force a smile. "Go home and pack me a bag...after you get some sleep."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll call you if I need you back sooner," she assured him.

"Promise you'll try and get some sleep?" he asked, standing up.

She nodded and he reluctantly knew she was right. The next few days and weeks were going to be hard on both of them, and it was true that he hadn't had much sleep the last three months. And he could bring her some comforts from home when he returned.

He couldn't leave without a small reminder she was here and alive though, so he leaned down to press a light and quick kiss to her lips. She quivered under him, and she hated that her body couldn't differentiate his loving touch from the torture of her captors. All she wanted was his arms wrapped around her, his body pressed against hers, but her brain had other ideas, giving her a constant state of fear. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, casting her eyes down and away from him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He tried not to make her feel more uncomfortable by ignoring what just happened.

"See you tomorrow," she replied, bringing her eyes to meet his again.

When Sam was gone, Andy rolled onto her side, and let her tears roll down her face and onto the pillow beneath her. She wanted to go back to that night three months ago and take Sam's truck, let him be over protective and worried about her. Instead, she had to be independent and fearless, and walk home alone. Now she felt damaged beyond repair and couldn't imagine how Sam would ever want to touch her again after learning the details of what she went through. That was, if her body would even let him touch her again.

She thought about the night her nightmare began as she cried herself to sleep.

_When Andy woke up after being abducted, she found herself lying on a concrete floor, wrists and ankles duct taped tightly. She wasn't sure how much time had passed since they'd injected her with something that knocked her out, but as she opened her eyes, she saw a man at least a foot taller than her with a large build staring down at her with an evil grin. She wiggled around, trying to loosen her restraints to no avail._

"_Boss is gonna love you. He likes 'em feisty," he said, with a laugh that echoed in the tiny room. _

_There was a small amount of light coming from the open door behind him and Andy looked around the room for any possible escape route if she could manage to free herself. The room was sparse and felt smaller than her bathroom at home. There were no windows and the walls were cement. The only piece of furniture in the room was a small metal twin bed with no mattress. The air was stale and smelled sour. _

_But most importantly, the only exit was through the big man in front of her. She began rubbing her wrists against the cement floor, hoping it would tear the duct tape._

_The man checked his watch before she saw him pull a needle out of his back pocket. "No, no, please," she begged, shimming her body away from him as he stepped closer._

"_Don't worry sweetheart, this one won't knock you out. It'll make you feel _really_ good." He grabbed her by the arm, turning it until he had a better angle, before plunging the needle into the crook of her arm. She felt a fire rushing through her and she knew they were drugging her up; they wanted her more compliant. And she had never been more terrified. _

_By the time two other men stepped into the room, Andy was feeling the full effects of whatever drug they injected her with. She was feeling loopy and didn't have full control over her movements - she suspected if she tried to stand up, she'd stumble over her own feet and land face first onto the concrete. And she felt happy; she didn't want to be, but there was this happiness coursing through her from the drug and she couldn't stop it. Before her mind completely blurred, her cop instincts told her it had to be a mixture of drugs they pumped into her._

"_You did good, boys," she heard of the men say._

"_Just what you like, Jonah."_

"_This toy is much better than the last one. You will be rewarded for this," Jonah responded. "Did the truck pass the border?"_

"_Yeah, boss, ten runaways will be here by morning."_

"_Good. Good. Got some people hungry for this shipment, paying top price," he said, and Andy could hear the evil in his voice._

_Jonah crouched down and laid a hand on her cheek. She tried to move away, but couldn't. "My sweet little thing, we are going to have a lot of fun. You want to get out of these restraints, don't you?"_

_She managed to nod, but immediately regretted it as the motion made the room spin._

"_Good. Good," he said, before running his hand tenderly down the side of her body. His eyes examined her for another moment, before standing up. "First, you have to be taught how things are around here, who's in charge. Then, you and I can have some fun."_

_Her eyes went wide, terrified by what he meant. She had to be _taught_? How? She could only guess what his meaning of fun was and she was fairly certain it wouldn't be fun for her. He gave a nod to the two other men before leaving the room and closing the door._

_The first few punches and kicks were numbed by the drugs, but severe pain eventually took over. When the men were done, she was thrown onto the bed with no mattress, hands cuffed to the head of the bed. She had a metallic taste in her mouth, unsure if it was from her busted lip or something else. Her body ached with bruises and she could see spots of blood on her torn clothes._

_She laid there, not able to sleep because of the pain. All she could do was picture Sam and hope he would realize she'd gone missing, and find her. If he didn't, she knew she was going to die here._


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all the support for this fic – the reviews, favorites, follows. I know this is a darker fic, but thank you all for having faith in me and where I'll take this story. :) As you read this chapter, just remember that as happy as Sam and Andy are that she's home, they're both trying to cope with what she went through and what it all means.

Keep letting me know what you think with a review. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.

* * *

**Chapter 2 **

Sam arrived at the hospital first thing the next morning while Andy was eating breakfast. "Penny for your thoughts?" he asked, when he caught her staring blankly across the room.

"Hey," she said, a little startled. "Just trying to get breakfast down."

"That bad?"

"No," she said, shaking her head and looking down at her oatmeal. "They let me put cinnamon on it to give it some flavor, but I...I don't know, my body's not used to so much food or something."

He glanced down at the bowl in front of her, an average size bowl not even full. The fact she considered it, along with the juice on her tray, a lot of food saddened him. Another reminder of what he rescued her from.

She moved her legs over to make room on the bed. "You can sit, you know."

He tossed the duffel bag he brought on the chair nearby and sat on the edge of the bed facing her. "How'd you sleep?"

"On and off." More off than on, she thought. Every time a nurse came into her room through the night, she woke up startled and frightened for a moment that she was still in the farmhouse.

They sat quietly while she fought to finish the rest of her breakfast. Sam had never seen her this quiet since the day she tackled him in an alley. He always teased her about it, but he secretly loved her allergy to silence.

"I brought some pajamas for you and your toiletries," he told her, nodding toward the duffel bag. "I grabbed your phone and a few magazines too, thought you might get bored in here."

"Thank you." She pushed the table holding her now empty breakfast tray aside and rested her hands in her lap, unsure of what to do now. She hated feeling awkward and uncomfortable, but it was hard not to when she felt like everything that had been done to her was broadcast in neon lights to everyone who came within eyesight of her. She still felt dirty, despite a nurse helping her shower the night before. She scrubbed and scrubbed until her skin felt raw, until her bruises were screaming out with pain, but she still couldn't feel clean.

She looked up at Sam and saw a mix of confusion and sadness in his eyes. She was only glad she didn't see pity; she couldn't take pity, especially from him. "They said I'll have to stay here a while," she finally said.

"And I know how much you love hospitals," he teased before turning serious. "But you have a lot to recover from." He patted her thigh absentmindedly, realizing too late what he was doing. She lowered her head, embarrassed that his simple touches had her jumping.

Sam stood up and picked up the bag he brought, resting it on the bed. "Maybe you want to go through this stuff," he suggested before sitting down in the chair.

Andy nodded and began looking through what he brought her as silence took over the room again. She smiled at the little things he'd thought to bring - her favorite soap, her comfy socks, the blanket she loved wrapping herself in when they were cuddling on the couch. All the things he knew she'd miss. She brought the blanket up to her face, pretending to inhale the scents of home, but really using it to hide her eyes that had filled with tears.

It wasn't long before Andy's friends and her dad stopped by to visit. Sam stayed with her most of the day, except when Tommy and Traci were there, knowing she'd probably want some private time with them. She wasn't very talkative, but was glad to have her friends and father around, so she forced a smile and tried to pretend everything was going to be okay.

Over the next week, it became a pattern. Sam would spend most of the day - having taken a leave from work - and step out around lunchtime when Tommy would come to see his daughter. Andy's friends made regular visits and calls to check on her. She was still fairly closed off with everyone, refusing to speak about anything that happened to her. But she wanted to hear about everyone else, what they had been up to, what she had missed. Sam was worried, but the doctors assured him she needed to do this at her own pace.

"Is it good for her to be keeping this all in?" he asked Dr. Connors one day while Andy and Tommy were having lunch.

"It's always better for victims of trauma like this to talk about it, but sometimes the patient has to go at their own pace," she said. "I've recommended therapy for her, but I can't force her to do it."

"The department might," he replied.

"I can give you a list of therapists, although I'm sure the department can recommend some too," she offered. "I know when she goes back to work she'll likely be required to get a therapist to sign off on her mental condition. One piece of warning, don't hold that in front of her. If you give her an ultimatum, meet with the therapist or lose your job, she may just choose the latter right now."

"Thanks doc." Sam rubbed a hand over his face taking in everything the doctor was telling him.

"Look Sam. None of this will be easy for her, or you. But there are a lot of resources here to help you." She gave him a small smile before walking away.

* * *

Traci knocked on the open door of Andy's room that night. "Hey, you up for a visitor?"

Andy turned away from the TV she'd been absentmindedly watching. "Hi Trace."

Sam got up from the chair next to Andy's bed so Traci could sit. "I'm gonna grab something from the cafeteria," he said, wanting to give Andy some time alone with her best friend. "You want anything?"

Traci shook her head as he walked out, and smiled as she focused on Andy. "How are you feeling?"

Andy gave a half-hearted shrug. "Fine."

Traci pulled a folded up piece of purple construction paper from her purse. "Leo made this for you."

Andy gave a tight smile as she opened the get well card filled with Leo's crayon drawings. "He's becoming a little artist."

"He misses you. When you're ready, he can't wait to see you," Traci told her.

"Not yet. Not when I'm like this." She knew Traci would take that to mean her bruised appearance, but Andy was thinking more along the lines of how weak and damaged she was.

"Okay. Maybe when you get out of here, we can have a pizza and movie night." Traci let out a small sigh when Andy simply tried to force a smile...and failed at convincing her friend.

Traci continued making small talk, with Andy remaining mostly silent, uttering only a few words here and there. It was one of the only times in their entire friendship the conversation was visibly awkward.

"I should get going," Traci said after glancing at her watch. "Steve's watching Leo for me."

"Thanks for coming by," Andy replied.

Traci stood up, but hesitated before making a move toward the door. "I'm here for you, Andy. If you ever want to talk...about anything, you know you can call me."

When Traci walked out of the room, she saw Sam in the hallway and pulled him aside. "Sam, I'm worried about her," she said, concerned etched all over her face.

Sam rubbed a hand over his face. "I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help her."

"You're doing everything you can," she assured him. "But she's retreating into herself. Each day, she talks less and less, and I'm...I'm scared."

"It's a relief I'm not the only one seeing it," he admitted. "It's like she's taking steps back instead of forward."

"Has she talked to you about it at all?" Traci asked.

"No. And I thought knowing how important her statement was that she'd finally say something when Steve came by yesterday, but she pretended to fall asleep," he said.

"Is there anything I can do?" All Traci wanted was to help her friend.

"I wish I had the answers, Nash," he said solemnly. "I'm open to any ideas."

"We just keep trying. That's all we can do now." She gave Sam a small smile and patted him on the arm, before heading to the elevator.

* * *

About two weeks after she entered the hospital, the doctor gave Andy the okay to go home. "I know you're anxious to get out of here Andy, but remember, you're recovery isn't over. You need to take it easy and make sure to continue eating the nutrient-rich foods we've talked about. Your body is still healing and you need to increase your strength and keep putting on weight," Dr. Connors said.

Andy nodded, feeling a bit like she was getting a lecture, but she knew the doctor meant well. She just wanted to get out of the hospital.

"I know you're reluctant to see a therapist, but please consider it. Talking to someone who isn't part of your life can be helpful." She handed over a handful of brochures. "And if you still choose not to, at least read through these."

Andy glanced at them and saw they were to help deal with various traumas, all of which she had been through. She put them in her bag. "Thanks Dr. Connors."

When the doctor left, Sam grabbed Andy's bag off the bed. "Ready to go?"

"I just wanna be home," she said, nodding. She slid of the bed and into the wheelchair she was required to be taken out of the hospital in. She'd say and agree to anything in order to get home.

* * *

Andy followed Sam into their townhouse, slowly moving past him into the living room as he locked the door and threw his keys in a bowl on a small table. It felt familiar and foreign to her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, the scents and sounds invading her senses reminded her that this was home.

Opening her eyes, she turned around slowly and took in every detail. Nothing had changed; Sam had kept everything exactly the same. She wasn't sure what she expected, maybe that there'd be some clear indication life had moved on without her.

She kept walking through their home, room by room, trailing her fingers across tables and counters and the bottom of frames hung on the wall. She stopped at a photo hanging in their upstairs hallway, tracing her index finger over the faces. It was her and Sam at The Penny, celebrating Oliver's birthday a couple of years earlier. Sam's arm was draped across her shoulders and she was leaning into him, a blissful smile on her face and dimples popping out of his. All she wanted was to feel happy like that again.

Andy found Sam in their bedroom, unpacking her bag from the hospital. She leaned against the door frame, crossing her arms as she watched him. "Thank you," she said softly.

"It's nothing," he said, thinking she was talking about unpacking.

She shook her head. "No. _Thank you_...for..." She looked down at the floor, unable to look him in the eye. "For not pushing me to talk. I, uh...I can't right now."

"I'm here when you're ready," he told her, which earned him a nod in response. "Okay, so how about I make us some dinner?"

"I know I'm supposed to eat healthy and everything, but I could really use something bad and greasy right now," she told him with a shy smile.

He'd give her whatever she wanted. Her first night back in _their _home and the doctor's diet full of fruits and vegetables be damned. "How about burgers and fries from the pub around the corner? I'll go pick it up."

"And onion rings?"

"You got it," he replied, putting the empty duffel bag in their closet. "You gonna be okay here for a bit while I'm gone."

She nodded as she pushed herself off the door frame and walked further into the room. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Okay, I'll be back soon," he said before leaving.

As she heard his truck pull away, Andy toed her shoes off and laid down on their bed. She let out a soft moan at how comfortable it was. She rolled onto her side and clutched Sam's pillow against her body. She wished she could hold Sam like this again, to have him hold _her_ like this. Imagining the pillow was Sam, she fell asleep.

She woke to Sam calling her name when he returned with their food 45 minutes later. "Mmm, it smells so good," she said, walking into the kitchen.

"What do you want to drink?" he asked, opening the fridge.

"I'd love a beer, but with the meds I'm on, I'll take a water," she said, pulling the food out of the bag.

"Soon enough. Just give your body time to heal," he told her.

They sat down and ate, exchanging only a few words here and there. Andy was thankful Sam wasn't pushing her to make small talk. She was still readjusting and even usually easy conversation was filled with reminders that circled back to her kidnapping.

Her appetite had been getting better while she'd been in the hospital, but Andy even surprised herself when she finished off her burger completely. She'd help to make a good dent in the fries and onion rings they shared too.

When they were finished Andy started to help clean up, but Sam stopped her. "I've got it. Why don't you relax?"

"I think I might take a shower, wash the hospital off of me," she told him.

"Okay. If you need anything, let me know," he said.

She flashed a tight smile his way before heading up to the bathroom.

* * *

Andy savored the feeling of hot water pounding down on her in her own shower. She no longer had a nurse standing by to make sure she didn't fall; no longer had men throwing her under a cold stream of water as they watched her. She took her time and the water was starting to cool down when she finally shut it off.

She stepped out and wrapped a plush towel around her, another thing she hadn't had in months. It was soft and warm and smelled so fresh. Using her hand, she wiped off part of the mirror above the sink. She knew she'd improved a bit over the last two weeks, but the reflection facing her didn't look familiar. The sunken, dark eyes, the bony edges to her jaw and shoulders. Her skin had gained some of its pinkness back, but the paleness was still a far cry from her usual olive-tanned skin.

With a sigh, she picked up her brush and raked it through her hair slowly. She'd never thought a lot about looks; she'd always been comfortable in her own skin, imperfections and all. But staring at her reflection, she couldn't imagine why Sam would ever want to be intimate with her again. She knew he'd backed off even casual touches because of how she jumped every time, but she wondered if that wasn't a wall between them, if he'd truly want her now. It was a new insecurity for her, but one she hadn't been able to shake.

She finished drying off and put on some old sweats that were now several sizes too big for her. She sighed, tied the drawstring tight, and went downstairs, where she found Sam sitting on the couch watching TV. "Feeling better?" he asked.

"It was a good shower, forgot how much I missed it," she said, as she took a seat at the other end of the couch. She pulled her favorite blanket around her and curled up against the arm of the couch.

"Wanna watch a movie?" he asked

She shrugged. "Whatever you wanna watch is fine." She glanced down at the coffee table and noticed the brochures the doctor had given her were lying there. Taking the hint, she picked them up and started thumbing through them. How to deal with physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse; how to recover your normal life after significant trauma, how to let loved ones in again. Sam continued to watch TV as she began reading the advice written in the brochures. There was even one about the importance of going to therapy, but she decided to read that one last. She just wasn't ready for that yet.

"Oliver called earlier," Sam said, stealing a glance at Andy's reaction before continuing. "He wants you to come into the station tomorrow."

She tore her eyes from what she was reading to look at Sam briefly. She knew it wasn't simply for a friendly visit. They'd been trying to get her statement and she found a way over and over to sidestep the questions. She just didn't know how to talk about what happened. "What time?"

"Eleven. Oliver and Steve will be there," he replied.

She gave him a small nod to show she heard him. She felt like she wanted to throw up. Oliver had become like a second father to her, and Steve had become like a brother because of his relationship with Traci. And she knew Sam would be there too. How was she supposed to tell them the details of what happened to her? How was she supposed to speak the words about what these men had done to her? She didn't want them to hear how she was victimized, what she felt she _let_ happen to her. That's why she refused to talk about it. Andy tried to push the anxiety over tomorrow from her mind and focused on the brochures in front of her.

A couple of hours later, Sam and Andy decided to call it a night. Sam came out of their en suite bathroom and found her lying in bed, blankets pulled up to her chin, staring at the ceiling. He realized they hadn't talked about sleeping arrangements and if she'd feel comfortable sharing the bed with him. "I can sleep in the guest room if you'd be more comfortable," he offered.

She rolled her head toward him, a bewildered look on her face. "No, you should sleep here. It's okay."

He shut off the light and climbed into bed. Sam felt the mattress move as Andy rolled onto her side away from him. It was an instinctive reaction to feeling someone in bed with her, and she moved almost without thinking.

She could sense him looking at her and knew the sadness in her own eyes would be matched in his if she turned around. She wanted to find comfort in Sam, like she had from the moment she met him, but she couldn't find comfort in anything or anyone right now. "I'm sorry this is so difficult," came Andy's voice in the darkness.

He wanted to pull her close and hold her tight. He wished he could snap his fingers and make her fear go away. "We'll figure it out," he replied.

Andy closed her eyes, wishing away the tears threatening to fall. She hoped Sam was right.


	3. Chapter 3

A scene in this chapter was what started this whole fic in my head. :) You might need a tissue or two for this chapter, but I think you'll all enjoy it. As always, I love reading everyone's reviews, so keep 'em coming. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"You gotta talk to us, Andy." Sam was crouched in front of her where she sat on the couch in Oliver's office. She had a myriad of excuses to avoid talking in the hospital, but now they needed her to tell them what happened. Taking her statement was long overdue.

Oliver had insisted this be done in his office, instead of an interrogation room, to make her more comfortable. He'd closed the blinds from prying eyes and allowed only Steve - who was in charge of the investigation - and Sam in the room. Oliver sat on the opposite side of the room, while Steve sat near his desk with the camera that would record her statement.

But 15 minutes in and Andy hadn't spoken other than a 'thank you' when Steve handed her a coffee.

"You know we need to hear you tell us what happened. It's the only way to make sure these guys get put away forever," Sam said, as he rested a hand against her knee. Andy flinched at the contact and he pulled his hand back like he'd been scalded. He remembered a time when his touch would comfort her, but other than the moment he'd carried her out of the farmhouse, where her limp body collapsed around him, she pulled away anytime he got close. He wondered if that was the problem with why she wouldn't talk; the fact he was here.

"Do you want me to leave?" He couldn't imagine letting her do this alone, but if that was the only way she would talk, he'd pace a hole in the hallway. He didn't want the bastards who did this to her to get away with it.

"No." She spoke so softly, if it hadn't been so quiet in the room, he would have missed it.

"Then what can we do? What can _I_ do?"

She shook her head and pulled her knees up to her chest. "I don't want to talk about it." It wasn't that she wanted her abductors to get away with anything, but she didn't know how to start talking about what she went through.

Sam's heart ached for the woman he loved, how sad and terrified her eyes were, how the usual fight in her was gone. He stood up and nodded for Steve to join him at the back of the room.

"I know McNally. She's stubborn. If she doesn't want to talk, nothing is going to get her to talk right now," Sam told him.

"Look, why don't we get the basics. Get her to at least ID the men who were involved, confirm she was kept in that house the whole three months," Steve replied, deciding they could find a middle ground that would still propel the investigation. "It would give us something for now, and help keep the guys in jail."

"Yeah, we can try that," Sam said, agreeing.

"Okay, but after this, you _need_ to get her into therapy. We're going to need to get the rest of what happened to nail these guys for life," Steve said.

Sam nodded before they walked back over to Andy. Steve took his seat again and Sam sat on the couch next to her. Steve passed a folder over to his fellow detective. "Do you recognize any of these people, Andy?" Sam asked, opening the folder with a collage of photos. When Andy nodded, he pressed further. "Where do you recognize them from?"

"They're the men that took me," she said. She took a deep breath and pointed at one bald man. "He was in charge. They called him Jonah. That one…" she continued, pointing to another man. "Carlos. I think he was Jonah's right-hand man." She rattled off a few more names of men in the pictures she was shown, and it all matched up to what Steve already knew.

"Where did they take you?" Steve asked.

"Where you found me. I don't know where we were, but the inside of that house was all I ever saw." She was feeling anxious now, afraid they were going to start on more detailed questions about what happened. She wrung her hands together. "There were other girls, mostly young girls. I don't think they kept them though. Have you found them? Are they okay?"

Steve looked over at Sam and nodded, indicating it was okay to tell her. Sam rubbed his hand over his face as Andy looked back and forth between them. "They were trafficking children, Andy. The girls you saw were likely sold to the highest bidder. Only a handful have been tracked down so far."

Her head fell down to her knees and she began sobbing. It was all just too much for her to take. All Sam wanted to do was pull her close, wrap his arms around her and comfort her, but he feared his touch would make things worse right now.

Steve shut off the camera and stood up. "We can continue this later. Swarek, I'll give you a call later to discuss next steps."

Oliver stepped out of the office as Steve left and they stopped at the top of the stairs. "How long do you think we have to get the rest?" Oliver asked.

"There's a lot of paperwork with this case, a lot going on that isn't bringing attention to the fact we don't have her statement yet. I'll try to postpone things as much as I can, but we _are_ going to need her full statement. These guys were good. We have some evidence, but to put them all away for life I need McNally," he explained.

* * *

Sam had to sign off on some paperwork on a few cases Traci had taken over from him, so while he was doing that Oliver sat with the young woman he thought of as a daughter. The horrors he imagined she was put through felt like a stab to his own heart. He handed her a blueberry muffin he'd grabbed from the break room.

"I'd ask how you were doing, but that seems like a stupid question," he said, sitting on the couch so he was facing her.

She broke off a piece of the muffin and popped it in her mouth. She looked over at him, her eyes red from crying. "It's hard," she said softly.

"I know. And I'm sure everyone keeps telling you it'll get better," he said. She nodded as she looked down at the muffin and pulled off another piece.

"You're strong, you fight through things. That's why we all believe it'll get better. We know you'll get through this," he told her.

"I wish I had the same confidence," she admitted.

"You can't do it alone, but we're all here to help. Sammy most of all, so let him," he suggested. Oliver knew that Sam had always been Andy's rock and she was going to need to lean on him now more than ever to get through this.

She gave him a tight smile with sad eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't give my statement," she said softly. Oliver nodded understandingly, but it only made her feel worse. As a police officer, she knew how important it was for victims to document what happened to them with their statement, but she still couldn't manage to speak about what happened to her.

It wasn't long before Sam returned and had a word with Oliver outside the office before he and Andy headed home. They had a quiet afternoon; Sam gave Andy some space and tinkered around with his truck. She remained quiet, but helped Sam make dinner that night, a meal much healthier than the previous night.

A couple hours after dinner, Andy curled up on the couch, leaning against one side, her favorite blanket wrapped tight around her again. She stared blankly at the TV, even though Sam had put one of her favorite movies on. It was a comedy, but she couldn't even force a smile.

For all the months she'd been abused in that farmhouse, all she dreamed about was being back here with Sam in their home. But now that she was home, she wanted to be anywhere else - or nowhere else. She wanted to be lost, to stop feeling, to stop letting people down.

Sam walked into the room carrying two bowls. "Hey, got your favorite ice cream," he said, handing her a bowl.

"Thanks," she said, taking it from him.

He sat down at the opposite end of the couch and watched her poke her spoon around the bowl before finally bringing some to her mouth.

He promised Oliver he'd try to get Andy into therapy. He knew it was for the best, not just because of her statement but for her own health and recovery. Selfishly, he also wanted _his McNally_ back. The woman in front of him wasn't the vibrant Andy he was used to.

"You know I'd do anything for you right?" he asked, shutting the TV off so he had her full attention.

"Of course," she replied, shifting to face him.

"So tell me what to do. Tell me how I can help you. I want to make this better for you," he said.

"I don't know," she said exasperated. "Don't you think if I knew how to stop this pain, I would? I'm screwed up, okay? I don't know if I can ever be...be me again. And I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do."

Sam ran his tongue against his teeth as he thought how to respond. This was the most passion he'd seen from her since he carried her out of that house and he wanted to take advantage of it. "There are people that can help you figure it out," he finally said.

"I know you want to help, but I can't talk to you about this. I can't talk to any of you," she snapped back at him.

"You don't need to talk to me. But talk to someone, Andy," he suggested. "Years ago when you got back from undercover, you told me you liked the therapist Frank sent us to. Why not give her a call?"

"That was totally different. How do I know she can even help?" she wondered.

"You'll never know until you give it a try."

Andy chewed on that for a bit. It had been weeks and she still felt as lost as she did when she woke up in the hospital. Maybe Sam was right, and as much as she didn't want to talk to anyone, she needed to figure out how to move forward. She couldn't live like she was right now for the rest of her life. Maybe the therapist could help with that. "Okay, I'll call her in the morning."

Sam expected more of a fight, but her easy acceptance told him she really did want to talk to someone - just not him or her friends - and she simply needed a small push.

* * *

Andy called Dr. Dwyer the next morning as promised and found out she could see her the following day. The first session was difficult. Andy still found it hard to open up about what happened, but Dr. Dwyer had seen this before and knew what to do. She began with where Andy was before her world came crashing down. Andy smiled as she recalled how happy her and Sam were, how far they'd come since the last time she'd seen Dr. Dwyer. They didn't even discuss the abduction during the first session, but Dr. Dwyer felt it was a very successful hour and knew how to approach their next visit.

Ten days passed and Andy went to therapy for an hour every day. Dr. Dwyer wouldn't reveal details, but had informed Sam that Andy had started making progress. During the latest session, Dr. Dwyer and Andy discussed how she might start to get over her fear of even the most basic physical contact.

"Every time he touches me - I'm talking about a hand on the knee or shoulder, nothing even intimate - my body reacts like I've been scalded with burning hot water," Andy admitted as a teardrop slid down her cheek. "I don't know why it happens. He makes me feel safe. I want to feel his arms around me again. But my body just reacts this way."

"It's like re-teaching your mind that not all touches lead to pain. Why don't we try something," Dr. Dwyer suggested. "I want you to initiate contact, something simple. Do it on your terms, what you feel comfortable with. You are in control."

"Do I tell Sam this is what I'm doing?"

"That's up to you. You may find there's less pressure if you just do it versus talking about it with him, but you can make that decision," she replied.

Andy wasn't sure how this was going to work, but she was willing to give it a try.

That night as they watched TV after dinner, Andy scooted across the couch and laid her head on Sam's shoulder. It was difficult and Andy was doing everything in her power not to start trembling at the contact. She concentrated on taking slow, even breaths. Sam closed his eyes and forced himself not to wrap his arms around her. He knew this was progress and didn't want to scare her away. They sat like that for a few minutes and without realizing it, Sam moved his hand onto her thigh, immediately regretted it when she started trembling. He slid his hand away, not wanting to bring attention to how she reacted.

The harm was already done though and Andy jumped up, feeling ashamed. As she ran from the room, he shouted after her, "Andy, I'm sorry!"

He found her minutes later sitting cross-legged on their bed in tears. "I'm sorry, Sam. I'm sorry," she mumbled when she felt him in the doorway. She was still trembling when he walked over and placed a box of tissues in front of her.

"I'm sorry. I know how you're feeling and I wasn't thinking," he said softly, as he sat down on the bed, giving her space.

She was dumbfounded that he was taking the blame, when she put all of it on herself. "Sam, you touched my knee. You're my boyfriend and I freaked out when you touched my knee. _You_ don't need to apologize."

"I want to help you. But I don't know how if you won't talk to me or tell me what I can do to help," he said.

"I'm damaged, Sam. I'm damaged and I can't tell you what happened. I can't…" She trailed off as her sobs got heavier.

"Andy, I love you. Look at me." He waited until she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue and looked at him. "Nothing you can ever tell me will make me think you're damaged. I want to know what happened so I can help you."

"I love you too, but…"

He could see in her eyes now that she wanted to tell him, but she was scared. He decided to take a risk because the night couldn't get much worse. He moved closer to her, but did so slowly as not to spook her. He took her hand in his, holding tight when she tried to pull away. More tears rolled down her cheeks, but she stopped trying to move away. She kept reminding herself that Sam would never hurt her and thought about what Dr. Dwyer had told her. Fighting against the fear that was paralyzing her, she curled her long fingers around the hand that gripped hers.

They stayed like that for several minutes, sitting on the bed staring at each other, but Andy's tears finally stopped and her breathing began to even out. Sam couldn't bear to see her like this and if she wouldn't tell him how he could help, he would follow her lead. There was a reason she reached out and rested her head on his shoulder when they were on the couch. She had finally calmed down after he took her hand in his, and now he was going to push it further. He hoped he wouldn't regret it, but he just didn't know what else to do.

"I love you," he whispered. "I love you." He repeated it over and over as he released her hand and wrapped his arms around her upper body. He pulled her against him and felt her body shaking against his chest.

He kept telling her how much he loved her and soon felt her hands grab fistfuls of his t-shirt as she began to sob again. Sam's heart was breaking. He could only imagine what the bastards had done to her and he wanted to rip each and every one of their heads off for hurting her. He let out a breath when he felt her hands finally circle their way around his waist. He tightened his hold on her and held her until she cried herself to sleep.

Without waking her, he pulled back the covers of their bed and laid her down. He got ready for bed and climbed in, rolling onto his side to stare at her sleeping form. He only hoped doing what he did was progress and that he hadn't hurt her more.

* * *

The next day, Andy told Dr. Dwyer what had happened. She felt like she had failed and expected the therapist to be disappointed in her. "Andy this is huge progress," she said to the young woman's surprise.

"But I ran away from him when he touched me. I failed at what you asked me to do."

"At first you ran away. But you told me he held you while you cried yourself to sleep. Correct?" When Andy nodded she continued. "You seem to ignore the important thing here. You allowed him to hold you."

Andy dabbed the tears from her eyes with a tissue and gave her a lopsided smile. She'd been so focused on the negative, she hadn't allowed herself to see the progress she'd made. "I did. And I guess I hugged him back even though I was shaking the whole time."

They spent the hour talking about the feelings Andy had overcome when she allowed Sam to hold her, when she stopped pulling away, and what she was feeling now. Andy still felt damaged, but acknowledged the progress she made. Dr. Dwyer warned her not to push it, but encouraged her to initiate physical contact and accept contact as she felt comfortable.

When she walked out of the office, Sam was waiting for her as usual. She gave him a small smile as she walked over to him, and his face showed his surprise when she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his neck. Giving the therapist a questioning look, she gave a small nod, and he wrapped his arms around Andy.

She was still feeling some anxiousness at the contact, but she knew if she had any chance of healing she would need to push herself. Lifting her head, she whispered "I love you" in his ear.

Sam was choked up and rubbed a hand up and down her back while he waited for his voice to steady. "I love you too."

* * *

The next day, Traci had plans to come over and spend some time with Andy, so Sam made plans of his own. Before Andy had gone missing, they'd talked many times about getting a dog, just as he had promised to do all those years before. They put it off for one reason or another, but since Andy had been back, he'd been researching how dogs helped people deal with grief or heal from tragedy.

He found that some dogs were even specially trained, but he knew Andy wouldn't want the constant reminder the rest of her life of what happened to her by looking at their dog. And he didn't want this dog to be all about what happened to her, but more a promise he finally made come true.

Knowing Andy was safe with Traci, Sam got in his truck and headed out of the city, to a woman whose dog recently had puppies. He'd seen an ad she posted and after speaking with her, he felt confident in purchasing one of the puppies. Three hours later, Sam was on his way back to the townhouse with a truck full of pet supplies - food, toys, a leash, a bed - and a small golden labradoodle puppy sitting in the passenger seat.

As the truck slowed to a stop in the driveway, the puppy sat up excitedly to see what was outside, paws on the door, panting hard enough to fog up the window. Sam glanced in the backseat and knew there was no way to manage bringing everything inside in one trip, so he ignored it and simply took hold of his new dog's leash as he opened the door. When the dog realized he didn't have to sit quietly in the truck anymore, he bounded from his spot over to the driver's seat before jumping down to the ground.

Sam chuckled as the dog tried to run circles around him. "Sit," he ordered when they finally got to the door. Sam shook his head when the dog's butt hit the ground for all of two seconds, before he was up again, his little tail wagging furiously as he stared at the door.

Once inside, Sam crouched down to unhook the dog's leash. "You gotta be good, okay. Calm," he whispered. "She's gonna love you, but she's fragile right now."

The dog crooked his head like he was really listening to his new owner, but a beat later, his eyes were wide and he was panting in excitement. Sam shook his head again in bewilderment. It was like the dog was waiting for an okay to go explore. "Go find Andy," he said with a chuckle.

Without hesitating, the dog went running directly to the living room where Andy was. It was like she was a homing beacon for the dog. Sam followed and was about to yell at the pup when it looked like he was about to jump up on Andy. But he watched as the dog halted right at her feet, sat his butt down on the floor and stared up her, tongue hanging out of his mouth. He let out a small bark, as if announcing himself to his new owner.

Andy looked from Traci to Sam as she reached down to ruffle the dog's fur on top of his head. "Sam, what's this?"

"_He_ is a labradoodle. Your - our labradoodle. Unless…" He couldn't figure out the look on her face and wondered if he'd done the right thing surprising her this way.

"Can we name him Boo?" Andy asked, excitement filling her eyes that were still fixed on the dog.

Traci had been sitting there silently, watching the sight unfold before her, but took that as her cue to leave. She knew about a conversation had long ago about a labradoodle named Boo, and knew this was a moment for the couple to share alone. "I'm gonna get going," she said, standing. "Andy, call me, okay? I'm here if you need anything."

"Thanks for coming over, Trace," she said, watching her friend leave the room.

"See ya later, Nash," Sam said.

Andy picked the puppy up, much to his delight, and sat him on her lap. He excitedly stood up, back paws sliding around her thighs and front paws climbing her chest, as he bumped his nose against her cheek. She felt his wet tongue on her neck and giggled. Sam leaned against the doorframe, watching as this dog had lifted Andy's spirits for the first time since she'd been home. She was smiling and looked carefree as she played with the puppy.

"Can we?" she asked, moving her head here and there to dodge the puppies sloppy kisses.

"What?" Sam asked, having been lost in his own thoughts.

"Boo. Can we name him Boo?"

"Yeah, we can name him whatever you want."

"How do you like that name? Huh?" she asked the puppy. "Do you like the name Boo?" He let out two barks as if answering her question. "Can you sit? Sit, Boo." Getting one more swipe of his tongue against her jaw in, he planted his butt down on one leg before slowly lowering his body and resting his head on her other leg. She scratched between his ears and he nudged her knee with his nose appreciatively.

"I should get all his stuff out of the truck," Sam said pushing off the doorframe. "Did you know they even have special beds for dogs?"

Andy chuckled as she continued to pet Boo. "Yeah, I've seen them."

"Well, I'm just gonna get everything," he said, starting to walk away.

"Sam," she called out, making him stop. "I don't know what brought this on, but thank you. I love him."

The smile gracing her lips was all Sam needed. His own lips curved up in return. "Thought it was about time I made good on that promise."

As she watched Sam walk away, she knew there was more to it than that. She knew he just wanted to see her happy again. Andy swiped away a stray tear that rolled down her cheek. She knew she would never be more loved than by Sam. And she knew she could never love anyone more than she did him. In that moment, she promised herself to keep pushing forward and to not give up on her recovery. She needed to get better for the both of them.

"Hey Boo," she said, and the dog's ears perked up. "Let's go see what goodies daddy bought you." As she stood up and placed Boo on the floor, he looked up at her and barked excitedly.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you all again for reading, reviewing, favoriting and following this story! This is another heavy chapter, but lots more progress. Please let me know what you think with a review. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.

* * *

**Chapter 4 **

Andy wasn't suddenly cured after the night she cried herself to sleep in Sam's arms, but she was doing better and continuing to make progress. There were still times she tensed up or jumped when Sam rested a hand on her back or arm, but even if it felt uncomfortable for a moment, she tried to fight through it. Most of the time it worked and a few seconds later her trembling would stop. Boo had helped pull her out of her shell, so she was smiling more and getting more talkative about everyday things.

She'd also been working with Dr. Dwyer about how to speak about what she went through. She knew she eventually had to be able to give a statement, and Dr. Dwyer suggested trying to open up to Sam first.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Andy asked one afternoon.

"Of course," Sam replied.

She nodded toward the couch and they both sat down, leaning against the back of the couch so they were facing each other. "I know it's been frustrating, um, since I got back." She held her hand up when Sam opened his mouth. She needed to get this out. "It's been confusing and difficult and I can't imagine how much it hurts you when I appear fearful of your touch." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment before she continued. "Dr. Dwyer and I have been talking about it...a lot. And you have to know it's not the way I _want_ to react to you."

"I know this has been hard on you," he said, when she took a long pause. "I wish I could take all the pain away so you never had to go through any of this."

"I know you do and I love you for that. But you can't. And...it's time...It's time you understand why I react the way I do." She felt her heart pounding in her chest as she tried to form the words. Sam waited patiently, his body as still as a statue, not wanting to spook her. He could see how hard this was for her, and while he wanted to hear this, he also didn't want to be the cause of her anxiety.

She focused her eyes on her hands, which were fidgeting with the pillow she held in her lap. "It started the moment I woke up in the farmhouse. Mostly at the hands of Jonah, but...but there were about half a dozen others in his inner circle that he allowed...that he shared me with. They hit me, cut me. I was chained up. I was starved. They kept me pumped full of drugs. I was…" She looked up at him, lips trembling. "They forced themselves on me."

Sam closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew the doctor had told him the basics of how she'd been abused, but this was beyond his worst fear. "I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner." It didn't even sum up how sorry he was, but it was all he could say.

"It's not your fault, Sam. And I know when you touch me, I know you aren't going to hurt me. I know that when you touch me, it's full of love. But for months, every touch let to some kind of torture. And it's all mixed up in my head now." She reached her arm across the back of the couch and opened her palm. Sam didn't hesitate to place his hand in hers, and her fingers wrapped around his. "Dr. Dwyer is helping me, but please be patient."

"The last thing I want to do is cause you more stress," he told her. "I'll take this at whatever pace you can handle. I don't care how long it takes."

She felt like a small weight had been lifted off of her now that Sam knew. And while she was well aware how much he loved her, the fact he hadn't gone running at what she told him was a relief and fed her confidence. She sunk her teeth into her bottom lip to stop the tears that threatened to fall from all the emotion building up inside her. Sam held on tight to her hand, eventually feeling her tug on it, a silent request to come closer.

When he scooted across the couch, Andy let go of his hand. She hesitated only a moment before sliding her arms around his body and resting her chin on his shoulder. Sam quickly wrapped his arms around her, gently holding her against him.

"I'll follow your lead on all of this, whatever you need me to do," he said. "I'll never leave you, no matter how difficult it might be at times. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Interrupting them, Boo jumped up on the couch and wiggled his way in between them.

"Boo," Sam growled out.

"He's fine, Sam," she said, sitting back and ruffling the dog's ears. "He just doesn't want to miss out on anything, do ya, Boo?"

Boo licked Sam's face before lying down on Andy's lap, knowing she'd pet him just how he liked. Sam shook his head; this dog already had her wrapped around his paw. He loved the bond they'd formed and how Boo had helped Andy even though he didn't think she quite realized it. Their new pup was also very protective over Andy and that was something else Sam loved.

"There's something else I wanted to talk to you about," Andy said as she stroked her hand down Boo's back and lulled him to sleep.

"Okay," Sam said, leaning back against the couch.

"I want you to go back to work," she said, and waited for Sam to argue.

"It's too soon. No, I want to be here for you," he replied, predictably.

"It's been more than a month. If not now, when?" She didn't wait for a response before continuing. "I love that you've been here for me since the moment you found me, but you can't stay home forever. You have to get back to work."

"I don't care about going back to work. You're the most important thing to me," he argued.

She smiled at him and took his hand in hers. "I know. Every day you show me that. But there's nothing more you can do sitting here watching bad daytime TV with me."

He thought for a moment as his thumb glided back and forth across her knuckles. "You're sure you'll be okay here alone?" he finally asked.

"I will be fine, and Boo will be here to entertain me," she said, with a smile.

"I'll go back part-time," he said reluctantly. "I'll go back working half days, if you're really okay it."

She gave his hand a squeeze. "I am. I want life to start going back to normal."

"Okay. I'll go in to talk to Oliver tomorrow, see if there's anything I need to do before coming back on half-days. But right now, what'dya say we take Boo to the park?" Boo lifted his head, hearing Sam say 'park.'

"I think that's a great idea. Mr. Lazy Butt is getting too comfy on my lap," she said, giving Boo a small pat on the butt that had him jumping to the floor, his tail wagging excitedly.

* * *

A few days later Andy walked out of her therapy session feeling the most confident she had since she'd been rescued. The plan had been for Sam to drop her off at home before heading into work, however, when they got into the truck, she laid a hand on his arm before he could pull out of the parking lot.

"Take me to the station," she told him.

He quirked his eyebrows as he studied her face. "You sure about this?"

Dr. Dwyer told her she'd been making serious strides, but before she could truly allow herself to heal and put the trauma behind her, she had to relive it for her statement. Delaying it would only be harmful to her recovery.

"I need to do it before I lose my nerve," she said. "It's long overdue. I need to give my statement so there's never a chance they'll do this to anyone again."

Sam called Oliver as they headed to the station, so that he and Steve were prepared when they arrived.

The station was its usual bustle of activity, but most of their friends were out on patrol, so Andy made it up to Oliver's office without stopping to chat with anyone. Now that she'd started this, she just wanted to get it over with.

Oliver was sitting behind his desk and Steve was setting the camera up when Sam and Andy walked in. "McNally, how are you doing?" Oliver asked.

She gave him a tight smile before responding. "I'm better." Sam closed the door behind him while Andy took a seat on the couch. He kept a bit of distance so he wasn't in the frame of the video, but Andy took his hand in hers and rested it between them.

He gave her a small smile. "You can do this," he said softly.

"Ready?" Steve asked, sitting down.

She took a deep breath and felt Sam gently squeeze her hand. "Yeah."

They started at the beginning with Andy describing what happened the night she was abducted - at least what she remembered before blacking out from the drug. She explained not only what had happened to her, but things she had overheard and seen that might relate to the child trafficking charges. She refused to take a break, afraid she wouldn't be able to continue if she did. She needed to get it out and needed to do it now. It was two hours later when Andy wrapped up the last detail she could remember before Sam had found her. The three men listened intently, with only Steve interjecting a few questions here and there to help clarify things she said.

When it was over, silence engulfed the room, no one knowing what to say after Andy's horrifying recounting of events. She stood up suddenly and excused herself to the restroom, needing a moment to herself as much as she knew the three men who were like family to her needed to let what she'd told them sink in.

Sam watched her walk through the bull pen until she disappeared down the hallway that led to the locker rooms. When she was out of sight, he punched a fist into the couch cushion next to him. "Fucking bastards," he nearly shouted, punching another fist into the cushion before sitting forward and putting his head in his hands. Even though she had already briefly told him what her captors had done to her, hearing all the gruesome details made him sick to his stomach.

Oliver ran a hand over his face before turning to Steve. "Will this…Please dear god tell me this will put them away."

"For everything we wanted and more," Steve assured him. "There's no way they'll get away with any of it after this."

"Who's the prosecutor on this?" Sam asked, standing up to pace the room.

"O'Donnell, she's the best. This case is her top priority," Steve replied. "She's not going to let any of them slip through the cracks."

* * *

Andy bent over a sink in the locker room and splashed cold water on her face. She grabbed a couple paper towels and dabbed her face dry as she turned around and leaned against the counter. She'd done it. She fought through the fear and finally given her statement. On one hand it felt like a gigantic weight had been lifted off her shoulders. On the other hand, they now knew the details of the trauma she encountered. It felt like a dirty secret being aired out into the world, even though she knew _she_ hadn't done anything wrong.

Andy was so lost in her thoughts she didn't hear Chloe enter the locker room. "Hey, Andy!"

Andy looked up, startled to see her friend walking toward her. "Hey Chloe."

"I didn't know you were coming in today," Chloe said.

"It was sort of unexpected. I, uh, I came in to give my statement," she said, tossing the towel she'd balled up into the nearby trash can.

"You ok?" Chloe asked, her tone changing to concern.

Andy forced a tight smile. "Yup." Knowing her friend didn't believe her, she continued a beat later. "It was hard, but Sam was there. He's my rock."

"We're all here for you, you know that, right?"

"I do," Andy replied, nodding. "So, how have you been?"

"Well, Dov and I are looking for our own place. We can't seem to agree on where or what we want, but he finally agreed to move out of that cramped apartment," Chloe said, excitedly.

"That's great. I can give you the name of the realtor Sam and I used. She was fantastic," Andy offered.

"Yes, please! We need the help," she replied with a laugh.

"I should get back," Andy said, pushing herself off the counter. "I'm not sure if Steve has more questions for me."

"Hey, Andy," Chloe said, stopping her friend as she headed toward the door. "I hope we'll see you at The Penny soon."

"Maybe. I haven't been much fun to be around," Andy said.

"Well, when you're up to it. We all miss you."

* * *

Sam spotted Andy returning and met her outside of Oliver's office, framing her face in his hands when she was close enough. "I am so sorry, Andy. I wish I could go back in time and protect you, stop any of that from happening to you."

Her hands came up to his forearms as her eyes filled with tears. Her emotion clouded over the fact she didn't even flinch at how he held her. "I was so weak. I couldn't even fight them off or get away. Maybe if I had done more I could've prevented it," she said quietly.

Sam furrowed his brows, confused. "What? What are you talking about? You are one of the strongest people I know. You kept yourself alive long enough…" He choked back emotion before he could continue. "Long enough for us to find you. You have nothing to be ashamed about."

It was like he could read her mind. He used his thumb to wipe away a tear that escaped and rolled down her face. "Can I...Would it be okay if I kissed you?" he asked. They hadn't shared a kiss since the day she was kidnapped, but he decided to take a chance now.

Her eyes searched his for a moment before she closed them and remembered what his lips felt like on hers. She missed that. She gave a small nod of her head with her eyes still closed, and waited. He was nervous, questioning whether he should push her like this, especially right after reliving all the trauma she went through. But she was waiting for him now, and he wouldn't give her reason to doubt how much he wanted her, despite how damaged and untouchable she felt.

He only lightly touched her lips at first and felt them trembling under his own. Despite that, her face hadn't tensed beneath his palms and her hands were still relaxed just above his wrists. So, he pressed his lips more firmly in a proper kiss. It was brief, but when he pulled back she was smiling.

* * *

As much as she didn't think any man would want to touch her after hearing what had been done to her, Andy was quickly being reminded Sam was not any man. He'd been attentive to her since they left the station - he'd decided to take the rest of the day off - and she could tell he was desperately trying to respect her and give her space even though all he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms. She needed to find a way to get over the insecurities within her that still remained. She decided she'd bring it up during her next session with Dr. Dwyer.

That night, as they sat on the couch after dinner, Andy moved from the end of the couch so she was closer to Sam, their arms and thighs nearly touching. Their eyes met as she got comfortable and she gave him a small smile. He laid his hand, palm up, on his thigh, a silent invitation if she felt comfortable. She bit her bottom lip as her eyes stared at his open hand and tried not to let herself overthink it. She placed her hand in his and slowly their fingers intertwined and wrapped around each other.

Sam found a comedy they both enjoyed watching, but Andy was lost in her own thoughts. There was one thing she hadn't spoken about during her statement. It was something that wouldn't change the prosecution of her abductors; it wouldn't make or break the case. It was something she hadn't planned to admit to _anyone_, but it had been fresh in her mind all afternoon and more than anything she found herself _wanting_ to share it with Sam.

She squeezed his hand lightly as she turned her head toward him and began to speak. "There's something, uh, something I left out of my statement. Something I need, no, something I _want_ to tell you."

Sam realized the seriousness of the conversation they were embarking on by the darkness in her eyes and he shut the TV off to give her his full attention. He shifted slightly to have a better view of her and waited for her to continue.

"I don't think it has relevance to the case, and it's...I'd rather not have everyone know. But after hearing it, if you think it would help, I'll amend my statement," she said, trying to shake her nerves off so she could get to the story.

"Okay," Sam agreed, concerned with where this might be going.

Andy took a deep breath and focused on their joined hands, knowing his support gave her strength. "The drugs were wearing off one morning when Jonah...when he was forcing himself on me, and my head was momentarily clearer. So, I bit him. I thought, I don't know, that somehow I was taking some control over what was happening, that maybe I could get away," she told him.

She sunk her teeth into her bottom lip as she tried to keep her emotions in check so she could continue. "But I just made it worse because then he was doubled over in pain. He had Carlos &amp; Santonio teach me a lesson, show me that I wasn't to disobey, that I wasn't to act out. It wasn't the first time, but god, Sam, it hurt. It seemed to last forever and I think I blacked out." She released his hand and leaned forward, elbows on her knees and Sam rubbed her back. "When they threw me back in my room, I was sure I had a broken rib, and the pain...and then they refused me any food or water."

She turned her face to look at him for the first time since she started speaking and he saw the pain etched in her eyes. "I wanted to die. I managed to pull a metal spring from the bed, the sharpest thing I could find, but it didn't do more than scratch my wrists. I tried, Sam. I wanted to end it right there."

"You didn't though," he said softly.

She stared at her wrist, rubbing her index finger over it. "If that spring had been sharp enough, I would have. You don't even know the pain. I was beyond starving and thirsty, and I hurt, everywhere, and…" The tears started coming and she couldn't stop them. Sam pulled her against him, and she let him hold her close as she cried against his shoulder.

He cradled her head against him with one hand, the other rubbed soothing patterns on her back. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "So sorry you had to go through that." He closed his own eyes to hold back his own tears. He couldn't imagine a life without her in it. He was furious with the universe for not only allowing these men to nearly take her life, but for her to be tortured so badly she wanted to end it herself. The fact that she needed him more than ever right now was the only thing stopping him from barging his way into prison and killing her captors with his bare hands. He would find a way to make them pay. When justice was served, he would find a way to make the rest of their miserable lives as painful as could be.

When her sobs slowed down, he brushed hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked, feeling helpless.

She lifted her head, red and puffy eyes, and tear-stained cheeks facing him. "Tell me it'll be okay."

His heart sunk at the pleading in her eyes and helplessness etched on her face. "You are going to get through this. And you don't have to do it alone. I will be here every step of the way. If you ever feel it's too much, just turn around and I'll be there. I will do everything in my power to protect you, Andy. I will never let _anyone_ touch you again."

She traced her thumb slowly along the edge of his jaw. She had always felt safe with Sam, even if when she first got back she jumped at every touch. But right now, she felt safer than ever. She poured out every single thing that happened to her over those three months and here she was with his arms wrapped lovingly around her. "Just hold me?" she asked.

"Forever."

She laid her head back on his shoulder and let her hand fall to rest against his chest. This was everything she wanted right now.


	5. Chapter 5

After how dark that last chapter was, there's a nice little reward for you all in this chapter. ;) Thanks again to everyone for the amazing comments I'm getting in reviews and PMs. Let me know what you think of this chapter. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.

* * *

**Chapter 5 **

A month went by and Andy continued to see her therapist and make progress. She convinced Sam to go back to work full time and even spoke to Oliver about what she would need to do before returning to work herself.

Sam shoved quarters into the vending machine at the station when Oliver walked up to him. "Hey, brother."

The detective punched a couple buttons to make his selection before turning toward his friend. "Hey man, thanks for assigning Diaz to me today. He's been a great help cracking this vandalism case," Sam said, referring to case he'd been working for a week without much progress.

"Let me know if you need him again tomorrow," Oliver said as the friends began walking down the hall. "I think he likes working with you."

The feeling was mutual. "There are times when I see a lot of similarities to me at his age. I enjoy working with him."

Oliver liked hearing that about one of his former rookies. Chris had always shown a lot of promise, but had yet to find his niche within the department. It looked like maybe that was finally happening. "How's McNally doing?" Oliver asked, changing the subject to another former rookie.

"She's good, uh, continuing to make progress. She still gets spooked, but we're working through it," Sam replied, tearing open the candy bar he held.

Oliver led them into the kitchen so he could grab a coffee, and Sam pulled out a chair at one of the tables and sat down. "She's strong, that one. Not sure I've ever seen anything like it," Oliver said. "She, uh, asked me about coming back to work."

Sam nodded, already knowing she'd done that. "She talked to me about it."

It didn't surprise Oliver they'd discussed it before she came to him. "There's a lot that needs to happen - her therapist will need to sign off, she'll have to get back out at the gun range, pass a physical test." He stopped rattling off the list of things because Sam would know the process. He sat down across from his friend. "But I told her we could start the process if she thought she was ready."

"She's trying to return to normal, but…" Sam fidgeted with candy car in his hands before breaking off a piece.

Oliver saw concern in his friend's eyes and needed to know if there was something he had to consider when reinstating Andy. "But what?"

Sam ran his tongue along his teeth. He wanted her back on the job as much as she wanted to be back, to return to normal life, but he was worried. She'd improved so much since she first got back, but he was worried that out on patrol something would spook her. "She still gets startled when people touch her. Not all the time and it's better, but it's still happening, especially with people she doesn't know."

"You know I won't put her on patrol until she's ready, Sam. She's like a daughter to me. I can stick her on desk until I think she's okay to be out there. And when she is, I'll pair her with Diaz or Epstein, someone we know will have her back," Oliver reassured his friend. "We can ease her back in."

Sam rubbed a hand over his face. "She'll hate riding the desk," he said, pushing out a small chuckle.

"She'll get through it. We all will." Oliver took a sip of his coffee. "How are _you _doing with everything?"

"Me? I'm fine," Sam replied before taking a bite of his candy bar.

Oliver quirked his eyebrows. "You forget I know you almost as good as McNally does. This has to be taking a toll on you too."

Sam let out a sigh. "It hasn't been a walk in the park. But I have her back. She's alive. And she's letting me help her get through this now." They were quiet and contemplative for a moment before he spoke again. "No matter what all this has done to me, it doesn't compare remotely to what McNally's been through. That's all that matters to me, that we can get her through this recovery."

Oliver reached over and patted his friend's shoulder. "She's lucky to have you."

"We're lucky to have each other."

They heard Oliver's name come over the loudspeaker as he was paged for a phone call. "Apparently, work beckons. Give Andy my love, okay? And she can stop in anytime to start the paperwork on coming back."

"I will."

* * *

Andy closed the door of the townhouse behind her when she came back from a run with Boo. She leaned down and unhooked his leash. "Good job, boy," she said, petting down his back. "Weren't sure if you could keep up with me on those tiny legs."

She tossed her keys on the table near the door and headed to the kitchen with Boo at her heels. She filled his bowl with cold water, which he eagerly lapped up as she grabbed a bottle of water for herself. She leaned back against the counter and took a long swig. She'd pushed herself today, ran an extra two miles and her body was feeling it.

She'd been trying to work off this extra energy she had bottled up inside, partly due to events of the night before. She and Sam had started being intimate again, but they hadn't had sex. She finally got past the feeling of being so damaged Sam wouldn't want to touch her that way again. But now it was the fear that horrible memories would surface that kept her from doing anything more than making out.

And last night, they'd both gotten pretty worked up before she cracked.

_Lying in bed, Sam and Andy were kissing and gently caressing each other, as things started to become more passionate. Andy wanted more with Sam again, so instead of falling victim to her fears - which happened many times before - she showed Sam she wanted to take it further. She slid her hands up his chest, raising his shirt along the way until she pulled it over his head._

_Their lips met again and it was another few minutes before Sam removed her shirt and tossed it aside, and that's when it happened. It happened in a flash, like a burst of lightning. Behind her closed eyes were images of Jonah tearing her clothes off. It was gone in a second, but Andy began hyperventilating. "Stop. Stop. Stop," she muttered, and gently pushed at Sam's shoulder._

_He immediately rolled onto his side, his chest up against her side, but giving her the space she needed. He cupped her cheek trying to soothe her and calm her down. "Hey, sweetheart, it's just me. It's just you and me."_

_Her own hand flew up to rub over her face. "Dammit," she growled angrily. Not at Sam, but at herself. Her fears had come true, that the memories of her torture would haunt her forever._

"_You okay?" he asked when her breathing started to regulate._

"_No." She pressed her eyes closed to stop the tears from flowing. _

_He reached behind him to grab his shirt - he wasn't really sure where hers landed - and handed it over to her when she opened her eyes again. She shook her head as she pulled the shirt on. "I hate this."_

_He didn't have to ask what happened. He knew from the way she reacted. "It's going to take time."_

"_I hate time."_

"_And space, I know," he said, before kissing the tip of her nose. "We can take this as slow as you need to."_

_She rolled onto her side, her back against his chest, and squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to let any tears come out. Sam settled up against her and wrapped his arm around her waist. "I love you," she whispered, laying her arm over his. "I love you so much."_

"_And I will always love you," he said. He watched over her until she fell asleep, before finally allowing himself to succumb to sleep._

Boo hitting his food bowl against the wall as he nudged his nose in it brought Andy back to reality. She sat down on the floor next to him and leaned back against the wall. "What am I supposed to do, Boo?"

The dog sensed her distress and abandoned his food and water to come to her side. He rested his head on her thigh and she smiled as she ruffled his ears. "How am I supposed to have sex with Sam again if I keep having these flashbacks? And I really need to. I mean, unless I want to start running a marathon every morning." Boo lifted his head only long enough to bark and Andy laughed. "I know, I know. I put you through enough today."

She took a sip of water as she thought about her situation. "It's not fair to Sam to put him through this. I know he says he'll wait as long as I need to, but I don't _want_ to. I want to feel his hands all over me. I want to feel him inside me. I want…." She hit her head back against the wall. The energy she worked off in her run was erased as images of Sam making love to her ran through her head.

"That's it," she nearly yelled as she sat up straight. Her sudden outburst had Boo jumping up, his tail wagging furiously. "I'm going to work with Dr. Dwyer to get past this. I don't care what I have to do to train my brain, my subconscious, that Sam is _not_ those monsters. What those monsters did was full of hate. What Sam does is full of love."

At some point during her speech to herself, Boo, propped his front paws on her leg and the tip of his nose nudged at her chin. It wasn't until she looked down at him she felt the tears that had streamed down her face. She wasn't sure if they were from sadness or relief.

She'd had different breakthroughs during her recovery and this felt like another. She was full of determination and hoped Dr. Dwyer might be able to help her at their scheduled session tomorrow.

* * *

More than a week went by and Dr. Dwyer gave Andy some suggestions on how to overpower her mind to help prevent the images from popping up when she didn't want them to. Sam was being his amazing self and not pushing Andy. They'd kept things fairly PG since the night she freaked out, but she was feeling more confident. She decided the next time the moment seemed right, she wanted to try again with Sam.

Andy was doing laundry when Sam called her after his shift. She heard the door of his truck close in the background and could tell from the tone of his voice that his day hadn't been easy.

"Rough day?" she asked softly.

"Yeah."

"Dinner in bed kinda night?"

"Sounds great. Pizza and beer?" he asked, and she could hear the roar of his truck as he started it up.

"Perfect."

"Alright, I'll be home in a little bit."

By the time Sam arrived home, pizza in hand, Andy had changed into her pajamas, set a couple of beers on their nightstands, and grabbed paper plates and some napkins from the kitchen. Sam's lips curved into his first real smile of the day when he walked in on Andy laying his pajamas on the bed, so they were ready for him.

"Hey," she said, turning around when she felt his presence. "Wanna talk about it?"

He handed the box of pizza to her before shedding his jacket and shoes. "A group of runaways got mixed up in drugs," he told her as he began to change his clothes. "There was an accidental overdose and a suicide. It was a mess."

She put the pizza on the bed before wrapping her arms around him and letting him relax against her. "I'm sorry."

"It was just a long day," he said, holding her tight, relieved he had her to come home to after days like today.

They finally climbed into bed, sitting up against the headboard as they ate and watched TV. An hour later, Andy collected their plates and tossed them on the pizza box, which was now on the floor next to their bed. Boo was downstairs asleep in his bed, so she wasn't worried about him trying to eat the leftover pizza.

She watched him for a moment as his eyes were focused on the TV, and reminded herself how lucky she was. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to his temple, but before she could pull away, he turned his head and captured her lips with his. They scooted down the bed until they were lying on their sides, with his hand lost in her hair as he cupped the back of her head, and hers palming up and down his chest.

As their kisses became more passionate, Andy felt a tug deep inside her. She didn't want this to end. She felt tonight was the night. She was still scared, but felt ready.

She pulled her shirt up and over her head as Sam sucked in a breath and his eyes widened. "Andy…" Her name came out breathlessly with a hint of warning.

She shook her head and pulled his face towards hers, silencing anything else with a kiss. He momentarily lost himself again before his mind started working overtime. He only had so much self-restraint once they past a certain point and the last time they'd tried this, Andy had rolled away nearly in tears. He wasn't sure either of them could handle that again.

"Hey...hey." He pulled back just enough to be able to look her in the eyes. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation. "I can't hide beneath my fears forever."

She gently pushed him onto his back and straddled him before quickly leaning down, letting her hair cascade around them as she kissed him. He ran his hands up and down her sides as he responded eagerly to her kisses. The heat between them was scorching but Sam insisted on going slow. He wanted to make sure Andy was truly alright with this and let her take the lead.

Andy knew he was treating her so fragile because of her reaction the last time they'd gotten this far, but she wanted him to enjoy this, not constantly be worried about her. He deserved to get lost in her as much as she wanted to get lost in him. She sat up, grinding into him as she did, and he let out guttural groan that had her grinning smugly.

Locking her eyes on his, she reached behind her and unhooked her bra, letting it fall down her arms before she tossed it aside. She took one of Sam's hands and brought it to her breast. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh at the warmth of his skin against hers.

His hand caressed her, but when she opened her eyes she still saw hesitation in his, and his other hand hadn't moved from her hip. "I want this, Sam. I'm ready. I want you to make love to me. Remind me what love is," she told him.

He sat up, and with hands on her back, he rolled them so she was underneath him. "You're sure you're ready, really ready?" he asked.

She nodded. "I feel safe with you. I know you won't hurt me. I need to know what _this_ feels like again," she said, motioning her hand between them.

He lowered his head and softly took her lips in his. She ran her hands down his back and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head as their lips parted briefly. His hands caressed her body, smoothing over her skin as if she were porcelain and one hard move would break her. The sounds coming from her and the way she arched into his touch told him she was okay, more than okay really.

Pushing himself up on his knees, his hands slowly pulled on the string of her pajama bottoms, giving her plenty of time to stop him if she decided she wasn't ready for this after all. Instead, she beamed a smile at him, encouraging him to continue, while her heart beat rapidly in anticipation. It was like this was their first time all over again. He removed her remaining clothes before tossing his own aside, and hovered over her again.

"I love you," she said softly as one hand slid up and down his chest, her other fingers threading through the hair at the base of his neck.

He stared lovingly at her as his fingers grazed the side of her face. He needed to give himself a moment because he realized in this instant she was giving her entire self to him, opening up all of her trust in him. He knew she'd been fighting to feel this comfortable with him throughout her entire recovery. It was no lie that he'd missed making love to her, but this moment was about so much more than that for the both of them.

"I love you, McNally."

Not wanting to wait any longer, she pulled him even closer so their lips could find each other. Sam was gentle and made love to her with a slow sweetness that had Andy feeling a high better than any drug she'd been pumped with. She was coming down from her orgasm when tears rolled down her cheeks. Sam was nearing his own release, but stopped suddenly. "Shit," he cursed, thinking he'd done something to hurt her. "I'm sorry."

Her eyes flew open and her hands framed his face. "No, no. Sam, it's not like that. God, no," she said, trying to find the right words to explain her tears. She was filled with love and pleasure and ecstasy, and realized she didn't have to fear that what happened to her would prevent her from fully showing her love to the man she couldn't live without. "This was wonderful. You make me feel amazing. You make me feel alive. Don't stop, please."

He still hesitated, but she quickly brought his mouth to hers to show him she didn't want him to stop. It took another moment of convincing, but he soon picked up where they left off and found his own release.

"You knew what I needed every step of the way," Andy said later, when they were lying in bed with the blankets wrapped around them. Her head was on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat, with an arm wrapped around his abdomen. He was absentmindedly drawing patterns on her back with his fingers as he listened to her.

Tonight was more than just sex for the couple. It was symbolic of another milestone in her recover, a breakthrough Andy feared might never happen. But Sam had provided the exact comfort and support she needed every step of the way. And Andy finally realized that her trauma didn't have to dictate her life; that she and Sam could be like any other 'normal' couple. "I don't know how I would have gotten through this without you," she told him. "I'm sorry if it felt like I was pushing you away at times."

He brushed the hair off her neck before cupping her cheek. "You're dealing with something traumatic. I understand."

She lifted her head to face him and he saw tears in her eyes. "That's just it. You understood me, better than anyone possibly could. You never questioned, you never doubted. You pushed when you knew it was what I needed. You let me wallow when I needed to." She swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked away the tears. "I love you, Sam Swarek. I love you more than...more than chocolate strawberry milkshakes and good candy on Halloween and that heavenly coffee from that place on Dundas."

They both chuckled at her comparisons and Sam tucked hair behind her ear as he made a life-changing decision. "I love you, McNally, and I never want to let you go. Marry me."

That was the last thing she expected to hear, but even before her mouth could forms words she was nodding her head. "Yes. Yes." She lowered her lips to his and they kissed lazily for several minutes.

He nudged her nose with his when they parted. "Good, cause I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

* * *

"That's it, Andy. It's perfect," Traci said a month later as Andy tried on wedding dresses in a bridal boutique.

"That is _totally_ the dress," Chloe agreed.

Andy took another slow spin in front of the mirror, watching the silky material flow freely around her. It was the sixth dress she'd tried on and from the moment it was on her body, she knew this was _the_ dress. It was a beautiful A-line dress with a beaded lace bodice, a deep V back, and a tulle skirt that flowed around her with every movement. She felt like a princess in it, without looking like one in a gigantic ball gown she wouldn't be able to sit down in.

Andy turned away from the mirror to face her friends. "This is it. I love it. This is my wedding gown."

The woman who had been quietly helping them came out of the shadows upon hearing Andy's choice. "You look beautiful," she said.

"Thank you. What do I need to do to make this mine?" Andy asked.

The saleswoman smiled at the soon-to-be-bride. "Take all the time you want to admire the dress, and then we'll sit down and finalize the sale, and set up an appointment for a fitting. As great as it looks on you now, Sally will tailor it so it fits like a glove."

"I can't believe I'm actually getting married," Andy said excitedly when it was just her and her friends again. "This is the dress I'm marrying Sam Swarek in." Her eyes bounced from her own reflection to that of her friend's in the mirror.

"Well, it's about damn time," Traci teased.

"Trace!" Andy said exasperatedly.

"As much as I love the both of you, you and Sam are two of the most stubborn people I've ever met," her friend said, standing up and taking a few steps closer to Andy. "I'm glad this day is finally here for you two."

Andy turned to face her friend. "We've been through a lot."

"That's an understatement. With everything you guys have endured, I've never seen a truer love," Traci said, helping her friend step down from the small square podium in front of the mirrors.

Andy thought back over all the years she'd known Sam, and everything they'd been through - from dating other people, to pushing each other away even though they only had love for one another, to undercover operations that took them away, to exes coming back, to nearly dying. Everything the universe could possibly throw at them, they got through and still found their way back to each other.

"I never believed in soul mates...until I met Sam," Andy told her friends. "He really is my other half."

Traci gave her friend a one arm hug, as Chloe stood and joined them. "Everything you've been through was to get you to this point," Traci said.

"If you told me that a few years ago, I'd laugh," Andy admitted. "But it's true. It all brought us here, to our wedding!"

"He isn't going to know what hit him when he sees you in that dress," Chloe said. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks for agreeing to be my bridesmaids. I couldn't have better friends," Andy said. "Now help me get out of this, so we can look for dresses for you guys." The friends exchanged smiles as they walked back into the dressing room.

A short time later, Andy was alone and stared at her nearly naked reflection in the mirror. Her fingertips grazed over her abdomen where she once thought all the cuts and bruises would leave her physically scarred for life. She hadn't believed the doctors who told her the cuts weren't deep enough to leave lasting marks, but they were right. Her olive-tanned skin was as smooth as it had ever been. Her eyes traveled up to her face that had long since recovered from its paleness and sunken eyes. Fear was no longer etched into her eyes. She looked alive, and smiling back at herself, she _felt_ alive.

She turned and held the wedding dress, _her_ wedding dress, in her hands. There were times during her captivity she never thought she'd see Sam again, let alone become his wife. Even once she'd been rescued, she questioned if she'd ever be truly happy again. Now, here she was planning her wedding, planning her future with Sam. She was even getting back to the job she loved in a few days, although she wouldn't be allowed on patrol for the indefinite future. She was making the final steps in getting her life back.

Everything in her life felt perfect, almost too perfect. As happy as she was, a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach told her this was the calm before the storm. She felt like she was waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under her with some tragedy or crisis looming on the horizon. She took a deep breath and tried to push the thoughts from her mind. This day was a happy one and she wanted to enjoy it.

* * *

That night, Andy and Sam sat on the couch - with Boo snoring lightly on the floor in front of them - with wedding brochures and color swatches and lists all around them. "You won't tell me anything about it?" Sam asked, as he massaged her feet that were in his lap.

"It's white. And that's all you're going to know about my wedding dress." She tossed her pen at him when he pouted. "It's bad luck!"

"Have it your way," he replied, squeezing her foot lovingly.

"What would you think about something different for your shirt, not plain white?" she asked, moving on from talk about her dress.

"What are you thinking, something like purple to match the bridesmaid's dresses?"

Andy laughed. "It's not purple, it's lavender. But no." She held up the magazine she'd been looking through. "Something like this, a dark gray shirt with the black suit. Maybe a lavender tie and pocket handkerchief to coordinate with the dresses."

"That would actually be really nice. I like it," he replied.

"Okay, let's have you wear the gray, but keep Oliver in white. I like yours being different." Andy continued to flip through the magazine for more ideas as Sam watched her.

"Did you hear back from the church yet?" he asked.

Andy shook her head. "Mary is on vacation this week, so I was told she'd call me back next week with confirmation if the day we want is free. When we were with her she said she'd do her best to hold the date for us."

"I'm sure we'll get it. She seemed to really like you," he said.

"Once we know for sure, we can move forward booking other things. I spoke with the country club and it's a slow time of year for them, so if we get the church for that day, it won't be a problem booking the club for the reception," she said.

"Seems like everything's going well then," Sam mused.

"Too well. Nothing goes this perfect, Sam. I feel like I'm waiting for the floor to fall out from under me," she said.

He tapped his foot on the floor startling Boo from his slumber. "Seems sturdy to me," he quipped.

"You know what I mean. Nothing is ever easy for us. It never has been. When things are going well, _something_ happens," she said, frowning.

"If, _if_, something happens, we'll deal with it. Like we always do. I'm not letting anything get in the way of a perfect wedding for you," he said.

Emotion filled Andy's eyes at how amazing Sam was. She tossed the magazine and notepad she held onto the coffee table, and crawled across the couch to wrap her arms around him. "I love you. I don't need a perfect wedding. I just need you."

Sam's arms slid around her and held her close. "Well, I'm not going anywhere."

She let out a breath as she relaxed into him. "And we can do anything together."


	6. Chapter 6

There's a bit of a time jump to start this chapter because I want to move things along to get to a few big things happening. :) I'm really floored by the amount of support for this fic. You all are so awesome. Thank you so much! As always, keep letting me know what you think with a review. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.

* * *

**Chapter 6 **

Eight months went by and things were as normal as could be. Andy was back to work full-time, and had even been approved to go back out on patrol. Flashbacks from her time held captive were few and far between. And she'd even been able to reduce her therapy sessions to once a month. Sam couldn't help but notice Andy's natural glow was back; she was her vibrant self again, not only in appearance, but in personality as well.

Their wedding was still two months away, but every detail was taken care of and Andy couldn't wait to walk down the aisle. The only hurdle left was Jonah's trial and Andy was terrified to face him again in court. She was afraid the horrible memories she fought so hard to bury would come back to haunt her.

Many of Jonah's underlings had pled out and had already been sentenced to prison. Jonah's trial was the first and the prosecutor felt strongly this would be the only trial Andy would need to testify at. Andy was the key witness in Jonah's trial though and she knew the prosecutor was depending on her. She also wanted to make sure Jonah went away for life. She'd been working with Dr. Dwyer on how to cope with the upcoming trial. Sam was aware of her fears and did what he could to comfort her, but understood there wasn't much he could do but just be there for her. It was really going to be a mental battle for her to get through this.

On the first day of the trial, Andy walked into the courthouse and ran to the nearest restroom needing to throw up. A few minutes later she came out and Sam was standing there with a bottle of water. "You okay?" he asked.

"It's probably just my nerves," she replied, unscrewing the cap of the bottle before taking a sip.

"You don't have to be here, you know. The prosecutor said she'd call when it was time for you to take the stand and it likely won't even be today," he reminded her. "We can go to a cafe down the street and wait there."

She shook her head as they walked down the hall. "No, I'm fine. I need to be here."

Sam tried to understand and placed his hand on the small of her back as they walked into the courtroom. Andy took a seat near the back of the room and Sam followed her lead. It wasn't long before a court officer brought Jonah into the room and sat him at the defense table. Andy fought to control her breathing, but her anxiety got the best of her. She jumped up and quietly ran out the door with Sam on her heels.

"McNally, don't do this to yourself. We can come back when you need to testify," he told her.

"I _need_ to be here, Sam. I need to see him pay." He wrapped her up in his arms, holding her tight against him and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I hate seeing you like this," he whispered.

"I know. And I know I'm not just putting myself through this, that you're going through it too. But I…It's important to me that I'm here." She snaked her arms from where they were pressed against his chest to around his body.

He kissed the top of her head and wished again she never had to go through any of this. "You ready to go back in?" he asked.

She nodded and they walked back in just as the judge was taking her seat. Andy and Sam slid quietly into the seats they had abandoned and listened to the opening statements made by the prosecutor and defense attorney. It was late afternoon before they were done and the judge decided not to start hearing testimony until the next day.

The next morning, Andy barely made it out of bed before she was releasing the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Sam stood next to her, rubbing her back soothingly.

"I'm worried about you," Sam told her as she stood in front of the sink washing her mouth out. He'd noticed that in addition to her getting sick so much, her appetite had been off for a few days.

"I'm fine. It's just nerves from this trial," she told him, turning around to face him.

"Why don't you go to the doctor, just to make sure," he suggested.

Taking a step toward him, she leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek. "If it keeps up, I promise, but I know it's just nerves. Let's see how I feel after I testify."

He watched her walk out of the bathroom, conflicted. His gut was telling him something was wrong, but she had enough pressures on her right now that he wouldn't add to it by pushing her to see a doctor.

Arriving at the courthouse, an officer led them into a small room adjacent to the court. Andy wasn't allowed to hear other testimony prior to testifying herself, so she would be kept in the separate room until that time came.

She was jittery as the hours passed. She sat, she stood, she paced the room, she tried to read a magazine she found, she flipped through channels on the TV. She was currently standing by the window, sipping a cup of water, with her stomach in knots. "How long do you think he'll be on the stand?" Andy asked, turning around to find Sam watching her from where he sat at a table in the middle of the room.

"The prosecutor said Steve would probably be on the stand most of the day," Sam replied.

"Right, right, she did say that." Andy glanced down at her watch to see it was still early afternoon. "I just want to get this over with." She strolled over to him and plopped herself down in the chair next to him. "I didn't think waiting would be so hard."

"You want to be in there. You want to see what's going on. In here, you're blind to it all." He knew how much she wanted to witness every aspect of the trial and not knowing what was going on was killing her right now.

She took a deep breath and reached over to link her fingers through Sam's. "I don't think I'll be testifying today."

"Probably not," he agreed, shaking his head.

They were both right, with Steve's testimony lasting the entire day and even into the next morning. He was the head detective on the case, so it made sense he had a lot to offer on the stand. And a lot for the defense attorney to try and find flaw with.

The prosecutor assured Andy she would be on the stand before lunchtime today, as soon as the defense finished cross examining Steve. She was brought to the same room to wait, but had a different anxiety filling her.

Andy paced the room, feeling nervous about getting up on the stand and coming face to face with one of her attackers. Sam knew there wasn't much he could do for her at this point, but be there for her, so he remained silent.

She grabbed her unfinished coffee off the table and was about to take a sip when nausea suddenly struck. Nearly slamming the coffee back on the table, she ran over to a trash can in the corner of the room. She'd barely eaten anything for breakfast, so it quickly turned into dry heaving.

Sam walked over with a bottle of water, and rubbed her back as she stood up. "You gonna be okay today?"

She took a sip of the water before leaning against his chest. She wanted to be strong and say yes, but she couldn't. "I don't know."

He rested his chin on the top of her head and held her tight against him, wishing there was something more he could do. "It'll be over soon. And then we have our wedding and honeymoon to look forward to. And the rest of our lives without any of this."

"You're gonna be in there right?" she asked.

"Absolutely, I'll be in the first row. I'm right there if you need me."

An hour went by before Andy was called to the stand. The prosecutor's questions were first and Andy was well-prepared to recount her story. It was difficult to tell the entire courtroom some of the details of what she went through, but whenever she thought she might break down, Andy glanced over at Sam, whose comforting look gave her all the strength she needed to continue.

Andy was still giving her testimony as the sun was setting outside, but it was now the defense's turn. Seeing the exhaustion on her face after only the first question, the judge decided to call a recess until the next morning.

The defense attorney didn't waste any time attacking Andy when she took the stand the next day. She had to calm herself several times, taking deep breaths and reminding herself _she_ wasn't the one on trial, although it felt like it.

It was just after lunch when her testimony was finally finished and she was drained. Sam met her outside the courtroom where she sat on a bench, needing a moment before she returned to listen to the other testimony.

"How are you doing?" he asked, sitting down next to her.

She took a deep breath before turning to look at him. "I'm exhausted. I knew it would be hard, but that was beyond what I imagined." She leaned into him as he put his arm around her.

"It's over now. And you should've seen the faces of the jurors. They were horrified at what he did to you. They'll convict him," he said to reassure her.

Andy tilted her head up and let her eyes flutter closed as their lips met. Sam felt her body relax as they kissed and he smiled against her lips before finally pulling away. "I'm so glad you're here," she told him.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," he said.

"I know." She stood up, taking his hand in hers. "I'm ready to go back in now."

They found seats near the back of the room and settled in to hear what the next witness for the prosecution had to say.

* * *

When Andy's alarm went off a few days later, Sam tried to distract her from getting out of bed. Andy hummed in contentment as Sam placed kisses along her jaw and down her neck.

"Sam," she whined when he sucked at the sweet spot where her neck met her shoulder. "We can't. We're gonna be late."

"This is more fun," he said before his lips found hers.

She giggled against his lips and ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. "I gotta get up so we can get to court on time."

"We can be late...or, you know, miss a day." He knew her response was not going to be pleasant and didn't have to wait long for it.

Her smile turned into a glare, before she pushed at his chest until she could sit up. "This was all just to try to get me to stay home today?"

"It's just one day. The trial will still go on if you're not there," he replied. They both knew who was taking the stand today - the emergency room doctor who first examined Andy after she'd been found. Sam didn't want her having to sit through the doctor's recounting of how she came into the ER.

She knew Sam was trying to protect her, but she was an adult and could make her own decisions. "I told you, it's important to _me_ to be there every day. If you don't want to be there, fine. But I need to be. If you can't understand that..."

"McNally, that's not it. I just think today of all days might be a day to - "

"Stay away?" Andy interrupted. "Not happening." Getting out of bed, Andy slammed the door to the bathroom and Sam let out a heavy sigh.

By the time she was done with her shower and dressed, Andy felt horrible for how the morning had started. This wasn't the first, and wouldn't be the last, time their stubborn personalities butted heads, but she didn't want to fight with Sam.

When she walked into the kitchen, Sam was pouring himself a cup of coffee. "I'm sorry," she said, and Sam turned around to face her. "I know you have the best intentions, but you need to understand where I'm coming from. My way of dealing with this is to be there every step of the way."

"I'm sorry too, for how I went about it. But I'm not going to stop worrying about you," he said.

"I know."

"I know what today's going to do to you," he said, taking a step toward her. "It's gonna tear you apart. You lived through it; you don't need to be there to see it again."

Andy knew Sam was right and there was a good chance she wouldn't handle today well. "I love you, but I'm not changing my mind. Today might be hard, but...but I'll regret it if I don't try to sit through it."

Sam realized this wasn't a debate he wasn't going to win. "Okay," he said it defeat. "I won't push it anymore."

"Thank you. Do you need the truck today or can I take it?" she asked, as she poured her own cup of coffee.

"You think I'm letting you do this alone?" he asked as if she were crazy. "I'll be ready in half an hour."

Andy watched him walk out of the kitchen and her lips curved up slightly. He always had her back, and she hoped he could understand on some level her need to be in the courtroom today.

* * *

Dr. Connors' testimony began without delay as she first recalled Andy's appearance when she arrived at the ER. The prosecutor then moved onto physical injuries, submitting medical records and photos into evidence. Andy took a deep breath as the doctor began confirming what was in the medical reports and providing details of her injuries. That's when the prosecutor put on display poster-size photos of Andy's injuries, so the jury could clearly see what had been done to her.

Andy watched and listened to the testimony with a stoic face, a single tear defying the rest of her emotions and rolling down her cheek. She swiped it away with the back of her hand, stubbornly refusing to let it get to her. It wasn't until the doctor pointed to photo after photo of her injuries that Andy began to falter. Her breath started to quicken and her hearing became fuzzy, like everyone around her was muffled.

She was fighting an internal battle, wanting to stay where she was, but knowing she'd reached her breaking point. She didn't know if she was going to throw up or pass out, but she had to get out of there. Jumping up, she ran out of the courtroom.

Sam found Andy at the water fountain in the hallway a minute later. "You okay?"

"No," she said, turning to face him. "It's like I'm looking at pictures of someone else. I mean, I _know_ it's me and the doctor is talking about _my_ injuries, but...but it's like a different person."

"You don't have to be here, Andy. I know you've wanted to be a presence in the courtroom to show support for the prosecution, but it's okay not to be here _every_ day," he told her.

She felt like the room was spinning, so she slowly bent down to take a drink from the water fountain. She took a moment to steady herself and took a couple deep breaths before facing Sam again. "I don't want to be here anymore," she admitted. "I wanna go home."

"Let's go." Sam didn't even hesitate, placing a comforting hand on her back as they walked out of the courthouse.

As they pulled out of the parking lot, Andy turned to face Sam. "I know you didn't think I should come today, that all this is exactly what you expected."

"It's the last thing I wanted to happen. You're the strongest woman I know, but that doesn't mean things like this can't crack you," he told her.

"I don't regret going. I would've regretting not trying," she said. "Thank you for not saying 'I told you so.'"

"I may not understand why you needed to hear the doctor's testimony, but I do understand not wanting to regret anything." Stopping at a red light, he looked over at her and saw her smile beaming back at him. "You feeling better now?"

She nodded. "Good. What do you wanna do with the rest of the day?" he asked.

Her smile turned mischievous as Sam focused back on the road. "How about we forget all this happened and continue where I interrupted us this morning," she suggested. Sam let out a chuckle and headed as quickly as he could in the direction of home.

Later that afternoon, Andy was draped over Sam in their bed, her head propped up next to his by a bent arm, as her fingers danced across his chest and he played with the hair draped over her back.

"I miss this," she said.

"Staying in bed all day?"

"Yeah. We've been so busy lately," she said.

"We should pick a weekend and go up to Oliver's cabin. You know we have an open invitation as long as they aren't using it," he suggested.

"I like that idea, a lot. We can get away from everything, just you, me and Boo." A content smile took over her face as she thought dreamily it.

"In the meantime…" He pulled her on top of him. "Today's not over yet." He felt her laugh as her mouth covered his.

* * *

When Andy continued getting sick and found she didn't have much of an appetite, she agreed with Sam that she needed to see a doctor. She couldn't continue to blame it on anxiousness over the trial, which was almost over.

After reviewing Andy's symptoms and a brief examination, her longtime doctor, Dr. Monroe, had a suspicion about what was going on, but wanted to perform an ultrasound before saying anything to her patient.

"It looks like congratulations are in order, Andy," the doctor said as she looked at the ultrasound monitor.

Andy glanced at Sam with wide eyes before focusing back on the doctor. "What?"

"See that, right there," she said, pointing to a small gray blob on the screen. "That is your baby."

"I'm...I'm…" Andy stuttered over her words, lost in the visual on the monitor.

"We're having a baby?" Sam was just as stunned as his fiancé.

"I'd say you're about a month along," Dr. Monroe replied, but her expression became tense with furrowed brows as she moved the ultrasound probe around Andy's stomach.

"Is something wrong?" Andy asked, picking up on the doctor's sudden uneasiness.

"Nothing to be concerned about right now, but if you have time I'd like to further examine you," she said.

Andy nodded. "Yeah, yeah, do whatever you need to do." Her grip on Sam's hand tightened nervously as the doctor put away the ultrasound machine and made some notes in her chart. The doctor conducted a physical exam and reviewed some of Andy's medical history before stepping out of the room to allow her patient to get dressed.

Coming back in, Dr. Monroe sat in front of Andy and Sam. "I saw something on the ultrasound that concerned me, Andy. After examining you and reviewing some tests taken when you were brought to the ER almost a year ago, I can conclude you have serious scar tissue in your abdomen and pelvic area. It's possible the damage from your past trauma may impact your pregnancy."

Andy couldn't catch her breath. From a moment of elation to being shoved back to the dark place she'd finally climbed out of. She thought that part of her life was in the past, that those men couldn't continue to hurt her.

Sam rubbed Andy's back trying to comfort her as he spoke to the doctor. "What does this mean?"

"It means that we need to keep a close watch on Andy to see what, if any, affect it may have on her or the baby. It's very possible, she will have a normal pregnancy, but equally as possible she may not be able to carry a baby to term."

"Lose the baby?" Andy blurted out as her hand flew to her stomach, already protective of the tiny fetus that had just begun growing inside of her.

"I'm sorry to have to be the bearer of this news on what should be a happy day," she said. "But the next couple of months will be key. If you can get through that, your chances of carrying the baby to term increase exponentially. There are things you can do to help your chances. Read through this information and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to call me."

Sam took the papers she held out to them. "I'll do whatever I need to do," Andy said. "I'll lie in bed for the next nine months. I'll eat whatever you tell me to. I'll do anything." She was determined not to lose this precious life that she and Sam created.

Dr. Monroe smiled at the commitment of her patient. "That's not necessary, Andy. You can live a normal life. You did say you hadn't had much of an appetite lately, and while that's normal early in your pregnancy, I'd suggest making sure you find something you can keep down so you don't lose any weight."

They talked with the doctor for a few minutes longer before heading home. Sam decided to make a homemade soup for dinner that night that would be full of nutrients Andy needed and he hoped would be easy enough on her stomach that it wouldn't come back up.

Taking it easy, Andy sat on the couch with her legs stretched out across it. Boo could tell something was wrong the moment they'd gotten home and he played with his bone right next to the couch. Andy placed her hands over her stomach, still in disbelief there was a little person growing in her. "I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you're a healthy little boy or girl," she whispered. "After everything we've gone through, I can't lose you."

Sam joined her several minutes later, lifting her legs so he could sit down and put them on his lap. He knew there was a lot on her mind and if he waited, she'd start to talk about it, so he remained silent as he rubbed up and down her shin soothingly.

"I thought it was finally in the past. Except for the rest of the trial, I thought it was over, but they continue to hurt me," she said, trying to keep her now fidgeting hands busy by gathering her hair into a messy bun. "But now...now they may prevent me from ever having a baby."

"We don't know that yet. The doctor said you might have a perfectly normal pregnancy," he replied, trying to reassure her and himself. But he was terrified. They'd been through a lot, but the loss of a child was something he didn't even want to think about. "We just have to take extra special care of you two."

Despite being worried, the corners of her lips tugged upward. She splayed her hand over her abdomen. "We made a little person."

"Probably a little stubborn ass baby cop," he quipped.

"With your dimples," she added.

He placed his hand over hers. "And your big brown eyes."

She took a deep breath. "We're having a baby." From finding out she was pregnant to learning there could be problems because her past trauma, Andy hadn't let it really sink it that she and Sam were bringing a baby into this world. "We didn't really plan this."

"No, but we talked about having kids someday. That someday is just coming a little early." He smiled as he took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. "We'll figure it all out."

Andy was happy to hear Sam say that. The one time they talked about having kids, it led into a discussion about how much they didn't want to be like her mom or his dad. It had crossed her mind that their fears would prevent them from taking the plunge into parenthood someday. "You're going to be a great father. He or she is going to have an amazing role model, Sam. And as stunned as I am, I can't wait."

She grinned and tugged Sam close enough for a kiss, causing him to fall lightly on top of her. He pulled her down until they were both lying down. He still had doubts about what kind of father he'd be, but he loved the faith she had in him. One thing he did know was what a great mom she was going to be.

"You are going to be the best mother a child could ever have," he told her. He brushed hair off her forehead as they settled into the cushions.

"We're going to be the best parents because we have each other," she said, running her hand down his chest.

He lowered his lips to hers, letting passion take over the kiss.


	7. Chapter 7

So, this is it, the end of this fic. It's a little bit of a rollercoaster ride, but I think you'll enjoy it. Thanks for traveling this little journey with me. :) To those that have reviewed as guests that I haven't been able to personally reply to, thank you for your reviews! And, for the last time in this fic, please leave a review to let me know what you think. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.

* * *

**Chapter 7 **

Three weeks after Jonah's trial began, the jury spent two days deliberating before coming back with a guilty verdict on all counts. A week later, Jonah was sentenced to life in prison without parole.

Andy had taken leave from work to attend the trial and when she returned, she and Sam spoke to Oliver about her pregnancy. They weren't announcing it publicly until she was further along, but she needed to be taken off patrol. It killed her not to work the streets, but she wanted to give their baby the best chance. If any of their friends questioned why Andy was stuck on desk duty, their story was that her therapist ordered it due to a small setback in her recovery.

Sam and Andy's wedding went off as planned nearly two months later. They'd been able to book the small church they wanted just outside the hustle and bustle of the city, and a rustic country club not far away for the reception. They'd kept it fairly small, but all of their close family and friends were there. Andy was thankfully barely showing a baby bump and the way her dress flowed hid the secret they were trying to keep until they got the all clear from the doctor.

Andy arrived at the church with Traci and Chloe, and was whisked away into a holding room at the back of the church. Andy was big on superstitions - and traditions - and had instructed everyone involved in the wedding that there couldn't be a chance Sam would see her in her dress before the ceremony began.

Traci walked into the room Andy had been brought to wait in and closed the door. "Okay, so since traffic wasn't as bad as we thought, we're a little early and Father Jean Pierre isn't quite ready yet," she said.

"But Sam's here?" Andy asked.

"Yes, I talked to Oliver and they are all set. He can't wait to see you come down that aisle," she replied.

"I can't wait to walk down that aisle to him," Andy said, a sparkle in her eye as she smiled.

"Keep it in your pants until the honeymoon, McNally," Traci teased.

Andy shook her head at her friend and took a glance in the mirror to make sure nothing was out of place. She smoothed her hand over the front of her dress, hesitating briefly over where their baby was growing inside of her. She couldn't be happier; about to be married to the man she loved with all her heart and about to start their own little family.

"You look beautiful, Andy. Sam isn't gonna know what hit him when he sees you," Traci said, coming up behind her friend.

Andy turned around, a blush creeping over her cheeks. "I can't believe this day is finally here."

"Are you nervous?" Chloe asked.

"No. I mean, I should be nervous, right? Why aren't I?" Andy asked her friends.

"It's okay to _not_ be nervous," Traci said with a chuckle.

"The love you and Sam have for each other is what every girl wants. We want someone to look at us like Sam looks at you. You two are like the relationship goal of every woman out there," Chloe said.

Andy and Traci laughed, but the maid of honor agreed. "Miss Fairytale here has a point. You're not nervous because since day one, the universe knew you two were going to get to this point. It was written in the stars."

"Come on guys, you have Dov and Steve. You guys are great together like Sam and I," Andy said.

"Dov is wonderful and we're having fun, but who knows if we'll make it together forever," Chloe replied.

"Steve is great too, but I don't know if I ever want to get married," Traci admitted. "You and Sam, you're something special."

"He's had half my heart since the day we met. I don't think I could live without him," Andy said, a grin slowly taking over her face.

"And that's why you're not nervous," Traci said.

Traci's phone buzzed and a quick glance told her that was their cue. "They're ready," she said, before handing Andy her bouquet, hydrangeas mixed with lily of the valley.

Andy took a deep breath, trying to calm her excitement so she didn't trip ungraciously and fall flat on her face in the middle of the aisle. Smiling, she looked at her two friends. "Let's do this."

A few minutes later, the three of them were waiting at the back of the church with Andy's father. The closed doors in front of them the only thing standing between the bride and groom. Andy linked her arm through her father's as they waited for the ceremony to begin.

"You ready for this, kiddo?" Tommy asked.

"I've been dreaming about this day," she said, looking up at him. "Not like a 6-year-old's dream of a fairytale wedding, but dreams of opening those doors and seeing Sam at the end of the aisle, and our eyes meeting for the first time. Everyone keeps telling me all eyes will be on me, but mine...My eyes will only be on Sam."

"He's a lucky guy," Tommy said.

"I'm the lucky one," she said dreamily.

"You know, Sam's the only guy I've ever thought deserved you," Tommy admitted.

"Dad," she said breathlessly. She never realized her dad thought that highly of her soon to be husband. "That's...I wish Sam knew you thought that about him."

"I said as much two or three years ago when he asked my permission to marry you," he told her.

"What? How? He only proposed a year ago." Andy started thinking back and realized if her dad was correct their conversation would've been before she'd been kidnapped.

"He told me he didn't know when, but he wanted to marry you someday. He was afraid it might come out in the spur of the moment and wanted to make sure I approved ahead of time because he knows how much traditions mean to you," Tommy explained.

Sam was constantly surprising Andy. He wasn't a planner, but he made sure everything was always perfect.

"I see how much he loves you," Tommy continued, as Andy was rendered speechless. "And someday when I'm no longer around, I know he'll be there to protect you."

"You've never told me any of this," she said, blinking back tears.

"You know me, not so great with words."

Out of the corner of her eye, Andy saw Chloe and Traci begin their walk down the aisle. "I love you, dad." She gave his arm a squeeze and leaned into him.

"I love you too, kiddo." The first notes of 'Here Comes the Bride' began and Tommy smiled at his daughter. "It's time."

Andy grinned up at him before they took matching steps to stand in the doorway of the church, and then began the walk down the aisle to her very soon-to-be husband.

* * *

Andy sat sideways on Sam's lap with her arms around his neck and his around her waist, as they enjoyed a quiet moment together at the reception. She smiled against his lips, not able to resist another kiss.

"Everything today has been perfect. I can't believe I'm Mrs. Swarek. And it _still_ feels odd to say that," she said with a chuckle.

"Looks like you're stuck with me..._McNally_," he replied, emphasizing the fact he wasn't going to stop calling her that.

"I still like it when you call me that." She ran her fingers through his hair as she stared lovingly at him.

"Good, because even Mrs. Swarek will be my McNally." He brushed his nose across hers as she continued to smile.

"I love you, Sam Swarek."

"I love you, Andy Swarek."

"I like the sound of that too," she said.

"Good." He covered her lips with his for a passionate kiss.

Oliver and Traci had been looking on from across the room. "It's nice to see those two knuckleheads so happy," he said.

"I even saw Sam on the dance floor. I thought hell would freeze over first," Traci said, laughing.

"They'd do anything for each other," he said.

"I never thought there was such a thing as a perfect couple outside of fairytales, but they're it," Traci said, a smile gracing her face as she turned away from her best friend.

Oliver nodded in agreement. "I'm happy for them."

Traci couldn't argue with that and clinked Oliver's glass with her own. "Me too."

Back on the other side of the room, it was as if only the two of them existed, the sights and sounds around Sam and Andy blurring into the background. "As amazing as all of today has been, I can't wait until it's just you and me in Costa Rica tomorrow," Andy said as she played with Sam's tie.

"Without a care in the world," he added onto her thought. As his fingertips touched her back where the dress left her skin bare, goosebumps popped up on her arms.

"Okay, _husband_, we should go dance with our friends again before the night is over," she said, hopping up and reaching her hand out.

He placed his hand in hers as he stood up. "Or before they think we've left to start the honeymoon early," he said with his dimples popping. Before she could take a step, he tugged her against him, her giggle getting lost in another kiss.

* * *

They enjoyed their honeymoon so much, Sam and Andy were reluctant to come back to Toronto after a week in Costa Rica, but they settled into married life easily. Nothing had changed really, except the rings on their fingers now displayed to everyone the promise they made to love each other forever. When they got the okay from Andy's doctor, they eventually shared the news with their friends that they were expecting a baby.

Andy rolled her neck around, trying to loosen it up after staring at her computer for the last hour finishing some paperwork. She decided to take a break and go make some tea, and as she stood up, she knocked the file she'd been working on to the floor. She started to bend down to retrieve it before she was reminded that at seven months, her pregnant belly wasn't going to allow that to happen.

Sam walked over to her in time to hear her curse under her breath. Tongue in cheek trying to suppress his laughter, he bent down and picked up the file. "Need this?"

She snatched it from him with a huff. "What I need is for this baby to come out already," she said, pointing at her belly. "I need to pee every five seconds, I can't have coffee to get me through the day and I feel like a beached whale." Truthfully, Andy loved every second of being pregnant, knowing that soon enough the child that she and Sam made would be coming into the world. She wouldn't trade it for anything, even if that meant she couldn't reach her own feet.

"You're still beautiful, McNally," Sam replied, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"You have to say that. I'm your wife. And I just did your paperwork for the last week," she said with a smirk.

"I'd say that even if _I_ was doing _your_ paperwork," he said.

Andy blushed and tossed the file onto her desk. "Did you need me for something?" she asked.

"No, just wanted to check in and see how you were doing," he said as they began walking down the hallway.

"I'm good. Just needed a little break and to walk around," she replied.

Andy noticed his mischievous look only a second before he dragged her into an empty observation room. "Sam! What are you doing?"

"It's a slow day, no one will need this room," he said, locking the door behind them.

It amazed her that even seven months pregnant Sam still wanted her. They hadn't had sex in months because her pregnancy was high risk, but that didn't mean they didn't have scorching make-out sessions.

He pressed her gently against the wall, kissing along her jaw from her neck up to her lips. She kissed him passionately when their lips finally met, and snaked her hands up the back of his shirt as he began to unbutton hers. His hands roamed and had her moaning into his mouth when they caressed her breasts, which had been a lot more sensitive lately. She dug her fingers into his back at the feel of his warm hands against her skin.

He slid a hand down her side and just as it reached her belly, he felt their baby kick. Andy smiled against his lips before he pulled back. She rested her hand on top of his as the baby kicked a few more times.

"I can't believe that doesn't hurt," he said, the heated moment now taken over by love for their unborn child.

She smiled at him. "I'd be worried if I didn't feel the baby kick. This one's going to be a little soccer - ow! That kick was to the bladder."

"Hey little one, be nice to mommy," Sam said, looking down at her belly as Andy laughed.

Her hand on the back of his neck pulled him in so their lips could meet again. "Ya know…I don't need coffee to get me through the day when you do," she mumbled against his lips.

He framed her face in his hands and deepened the kiss. Knowing they only had a few more minutes at most before someone started looking for one or both of them, he wanted to make the most of it.

* * *

Nearly two months later Andy woke up in the middle of the night with intense cramping. Her hands protectively circled around her large belly. "Sam...Sam." He rolled over, not opening his eyes as he wondered what tonight's pregnancy craving was going to be.

"Sam, something's wrong." The tone of her voice had his eyes flying open. This wasn't a late night craving of pickles, or pineapples mixed with vanilla ice cream. This was serious.

"What's the matter?" he asked, sitting up and placing a hand on her belly.

"I'm in pain. Something's wrong with the baby," she said before grimacing from the sharp pain.

"Okay, okay. Let's get you to the hospital, okay?" She nodded and he jumped out of bed and threw some clothes on. Andy was already wearing sweats, so he helped her get shoes on and they were out the door.

Leaning back against the seat in the truck as Sam sped to the hospital, Andy moaned again in pain. "Sam, I'm scared." The pain she felt was even worse than the time she'd taken a bullet to the vest.

He took one hand off the wheel, placing it on her belly, and Andy grabbed it tightly. "We're almost there. Stay strong, okay? The doctors will figure out what's going on."

Andy closed her eyes, and breathed in and out slowly to try and stay calm, despite feeling anything but. Before she knew it, they were at the hospital, and Sam was helping her out of the truck and screaming for a wheelchair.

Two nurses came running over to them and began wheeling Andy inside. "Is she in labor?" one asked.

"She says no, but she's in horrible pain," Sam replied as Andy screamed in pain again. "She's almost 9 months pregnant. There was some concern early in her pregnancy about severe scar tissue."

"Okay, sir, we're going to take good care of her," the nurse replied. Andy was wheeled into an emergency room and lifted onto a bed, and Sam never left her side.

Another nurse began to ask Sam questions about Andy - her name, date of birth and other basic information - while a doctor began to examine her.

"Okay, Andy, my name is Dr. Waters and I'm the OBGYN on duty tonight," the doctor introduced herself as she felt around Andy's belly.

"Please help. I can't lose this baby," Andy pleaded.

"I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen. Can you do something for me?" Andy immediately nodded at the question. "Okay, I need you to calm down. You're blood pressure is high and that's not good for you or the baby."

Sam took Andy's hand in his and with his other brushed hair off her face. "Close your eyes, sweetheart. Remember that day on our honeymoon, when we were walking along the beach and there was no one else in sight. It was just us and the sound of the waves crashing." He glanced over at the doctor and she nodded that it was working, so he kept talking.

Andy was quickly hooked up to an IV and various machines to monitor both her and the baby while the doctor conducted an ultrasound and some other tests. When the doctor returned after reviewing the results, Andy couldn't tell if she had good or bad news.

"I determined what's causing the pain. The scar tissue is putting pressure on the baby, Andy, and the pain is your body's way of telling you something is wrong. We have to do an emergency C-section," Dr. Waters said.

"No, it's too early," Andy replied frantically before letting out another scream of pain as she held her belly. "Sam, no, she needs two more weeks. This can't be happening."

"You're at 37 weeks, and while an extra couple of weeks would be ideal, delivering your baby now is perfectly okay," the doctor explained. "And in this case, it's necessary to give your baby the best chance of survival."

Sam took her hand and squeezed. "McNally, you're in pain, the baby is in danger. They have to get her out now."

Tears rolled down her cheeks. "What if…" She let the rest of her question go unasked as they both knew what she was going to say. What if the trauma she endured would cause her to lose this baby and possibly prevent her from ever having a child?

"That's _not_ going to happen." He held the side of her face, wiping away some tears with his thumb. "Listen to me. She is strong, just like her mother. She will make it through this. The three of us will."

Andy turned to face the doctor. "Okay, go ahead. If it's her best chance, do it."

Dr. Waters looked over at her nurses. "Call the OR and prep the patient for surgery."

* * *

Hours later, Sam watched as the two most important people in his life were asleep before him. Charley's tiny head, with a full mess of brown hair, was nestled between her mother's breasts, her whole little body moving up and down as Andy breathed. Andy's arms were wrapped protectively around their bundle of joy. He leaned down, pressing his lips to Andy's forehead before doing the same to the back of Charley's head.

He sat down next to the bed and thought back to when he and Andy decided on their little girl's name.

_Weeks after they found out they were having a girl, Sam and Andy were still debating on a name. They wanted something with meaning, but felt it was important to stay away from using the names of anyone in their family - there weren't always happy memories tied to those names and they wanted to start fresh._

_Andy was sorting through some old photos Sam had boxed up and one photo gave her a couple of great ideas. "We should frame this one," she suggested from her spot on the floor, leaning against the couch with the coffee table in front of her._

_Sam took it from her outreached hand and smiled as he looked it over. It was him and his former TO Charlie at The Penny the night he got cut loose as a rookie. Charlie's arm was draped over Sam's shoulders and he looked like a proud father. He'd told Andy about Charlie shortly after she'd met Jay Swarek. He needed her to know who his real father figure had been, the man who showed him how to be a good man. The photo was worn a bit at the edges from Sam's less than stellar photo storage, but Andy was right, this photo deserved a frame. _

"_Good idea. I think there we have some extra frames in the basement. I'll take a look," he said._

_Sam continued reading the newspaper and Andy went back to sorting through the photos, but stopped a minute later. "We should name her Charley."_

_The idea startled him. "Huh?"_

"_Our baby, Sam. I think we should name her Charley," she repeated, turning her head so she could look back at him._

"_I, uh...Charley Swarek." He looked down at his wife with a smile. "I like it a lot. You sure?"_

_She reached out her hand, a silent question for him to help her stand up, and he complied. She picked up the photo as she sat next to Sam on the couch and held it between them. "He was really special to you and it would give her name the meaning we've been looking for. I couldn't think of a better, stronger name for her."_

"_I love you," he mumbled against her skin as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. _

_She turned her head, letting their lips meet briefly. "I love you too." Looking down at her growing belly, Andy spoke to their daughter. "What about you peanut, what do you think about Charley?" She laughed as she put a hand on the side of her bump and felt their baby kick. "I think she likes it." Sam's hand joined hers as he watched the joy in her eyes._

Sam's dimples popped out as he watched his little girl's mouth open in a yawn and her tiny hand waved around grasping at Andy.

Andy's eyes fluttered open from the movement on her chest and her eyes landed first on her daughter then on Sam. "Hey," she said sleepily.

"Hey, how ya feeling?" he asked.

"Tired, sore, happy," she said with a smile. She looked down at her daughter and grazed the back of her finger across her cheek. "She's perfect."

"That she is."

The C-section had gone well and Dr. Waters assured the couple they had a healthy baby girl and there were no complications for Andy.

"The nurse will be back soon to check on you and Charley, but the doctor approved for her to remain here the rest of the night rather than going back to the nursery," Sam told her.

"How'd you get them to do that?" Andy asked, smiling sleepily at him. "You pulled out the dimples, didn't you?" she teased.

"I may have also called in a favor. Monica's on shift and she spoke to the doctor for us," he explained.

"Remind me to thank her. I couldn't bear the thought of parting with this little one right now," she said, looking down at her baby girl, who was squirming around. "I think she's hungry. Can you get that small blanket?" Sam retrieved what she pointed to as Andy raised the bed so she was in a better sitting position.

"You're a natural at this," Sam commented as he watched Andy. She held their baby with ease and waited while Charley fumbled for a few moments before latching onto her nipple, and then covered them with the blanket.

"I don't know how I know what to do. I just do." She swiped away a tear as she thought about how thankful she was Charley was healthy. "I can't believe she's here. Ten fingers, ten toes and a little button nose."

Sam chuckled. "She was just anxious to get out into the world. Couldn't wait another couple weeks."

"She's only been here a few hours and I can't imagine life without her," she said, looking down at the top of her daughter's head that poked out from the blanket. "She's this little person that came from us, Sam. _Us,_ we did this."

He stood up, leaning down long enough to press his lips to Andy's briefly. "Yes we did." And he'd do it again if she wanted another - and her body could handle another pregnancy. He might just wait to bring that up though, until she was at least back home in her own bed.

"She's the perfect mix of us," Andy said.

"She has your beautiful eyes," Sam said.

"And your dimples."

Andy felt Charley slip and try to suck at the side of her breast, so she helped her find her way back. The nurse had told Andy it might take the newborn a little while to get used to breastfeeding, so she knew this was normal.

"I probably shouldn't have fallen asleep with her lying on top of me," Andy said, chastising herself.

"I was right here the whole time, watching you both. She was safe in your arms," he assured her.

"Maybe we can get extra pillows to put around me on the bed, and these beds have railings right? We should raise them. Just in case, you know, if I fall asleep and she wriggles out of my arms." Andy was suddenly terrified she could injure her baby if she fell asleep again.

He tucked a stray hair behind her ear, letting his hand linger, and hopeful his touch could calm her down. "Hey, relax okay? You and I are right here. We're not going to let anything happen to her. Okay?"

She nodded, thankful Sam could always calm her. "I'm sorry. I'm freaking out over stupid stuff, aren't I?"

Sam's lips curved into a small smile. "You are. But you just gave birth. I think you get a free pass."

She turned her head and pressed her lips to his palm. "Is my dad still around?" Her dad had been sitting at her bedside with Sam when she first woke up after surgery.

"He went to grab a coffee," Sam replied. "Everyone else knows what happened, but they're going to wait until this afternoon to stop by."

"Good. I want to see everyone, but I'm so tired," she said.

"You went through a lot. Can I do anything, get you anything?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I'm just glad you're here. I know you must be exhausted," she said.

"If you and Charley are here, I'm not going anywhere." He'd already talked to Oliver about stopping by their place to pick up some things for them. They'd been in such a rush to get out of the house, he didn't even think to grab the small suitcase they had packed for when she went into labor.

Andy grinned as she realized her baby girl fell asleep. She moved Charley gently into a more comfortable position for both of them.

"Don't hog our daughter all to yourself," Sam teased before taking Charley into his own arms. He sat down in the chair next to the bed, cradling his daughter against his body. When he caressed her cheek with the back of his finger, her tiny hand wrapped around it softly.

"Looks like you're a natural too," Andy mused.

Being a father was never something Sam thought he'd be a natural at, but Andy was right. Even if he didn't know what to do, his instincts kicked in and it was like he was always meant to be a father.

"It suits you." Andy smiled as she looked at her husband and daughter.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Fatherhood."

Sam blinked back the emotion that filled his eyes as he repeated the word in his head. Fatherhood. He was a father. This little girl wasn't a niece or the baby of a friend; Charley was _his_ daughter. This was one of the most amazing moments in his life.

Andy's eyes were on Sam, and his were on their daughter, and she realized it didn't matter what they had gone through or how they'd gotten here. She was done being fearful of how her kidnapping would affect her future. What mattered was that they were here, in this moment, their own little wonderful family. And it was perfect.

* * *

The End.


End file.
